Tomorrow's Promise

"Hello? Anybody here?" Adrienne Pierce called into the open bay of the small roadside gas station.

 ³Ayah,² a voice replied from somewhere inside the repair area. A thin, friendly looking man in his late fifties, dressed in stained coveralls, came out of the building wiping his hands casually on a grease-spattered rag. He smiled at Adrienne expectantly. "Can I help you?"

³I hope so,² Adrienne replied. ³I¹m looking for the turnoff to Whitley Point. My directions said it should be near here, but I can¹t seem to find it.²

³Not from around here, are you?² he inquired conversationally. His broad New England accent contrasted sharply with her clipped, precise cadence. He busied himself cleaning the road grit from her windshield while he studied her from the corner of his eye. Tall, trim, very elegant. Golden-blonde hair just beyond short, stylishly layered and carelessly pushed back from her face. Casual chinos and cotton shirt that fit her neatly.

Adrienne smiled, a smile tinged with sadness. ³I guess that¹s pretty obvious. I¹m from the West Coast.²

³You¹re pretty far from home, I¹ll say,² he said, reaching into his pockets for a cigarette. ³Got friends on the Point?² he inquired, leaning against the bumper, appearing for all the world as if he were settling in for a long chat.

You have no idea how far from home I am. So far I hardly recognize my life anymore.

Adrienne looked at him, struggling between annoyance and amusement. Obviously he wasn¹t in any hurry, and she decided she might as well get into the spirit of his slow easy manner. After all, she had come all this way to relax and leave the turmoil of the last few months behind.

She tried to put a conversational tone into her voice. ³I don¹t know a soul at Whitley Point. I¹m leasing a house there for the next six months, and I¹d really like to find it before dark.²

He nodded, gave a last swipe at the spotted windshield, and stubbed his half-smoked cigarette out with the toe of his reinforced boot. ³I¹m trying to quit, so I only smoke them half way down,² he offered as if he needed to explain. ³It¹s a real pretty place, Whitley Point. I used to work out there when I was a boy. That was back when Charles Whitley, Sr. was still alive, before the island was developed.²

³I thought the island was privately owned by the Whitleys," Adrienne said, interested in spite of her urgency to get back on the road.

³Still is,² he continued. ³The whole north half of the island is the Whitley family estate, but there are some private homes too, on the southern end."

Adrienne had heard some of this before, but she was still impressed. The idea of a family dynasty as powerful as the Whitley empire intrigued her. It was far different than her own experience growing up in a working class family. It was partly that fascination which had prompted her to inquire about the house for rent when she had come across it by chance in a magazine. She had been searching for some graceful way to escape from the overly solicitous attentions of her family, and this had seemed the perfect opportunity. She was grateful to her parents for offering her a refuge of sorts when she needed one, but recently she found their thinly veiled pity too oppressive to bear. They, in turn, had seemed almost relieved when she left.

³I thought the younger Whitley was dead, too,² Adrienne queried, forcing her thoughts back to the present.

³He is,² her companion informed her. ³Died almost ten years ago in a freak storm out at sea‹they found his body way down the coast days later. Never could understand how he let himself get caught so far out to sea in gale weather. Any native knows how fast those storms blow in‹and Whitley was a mighty fine sailor. Maybe it was fate. Anyhow, now his widow manages things on the island, although I hear she leaves most of the business matters to the corporation.² He squinted up at the quickly setting sun and added, ³Well, I guess you¹ll want to be getting on.²

Adrienne suppressed a smile and nodded solemnly. ³Perhaps I should be.²

She finally learned that she would have found the sign for Whitley Point had she driven two miles further down the road. Her new acquaintance informed her that she should, in fact, reach the southern end of Whitley Point in less than half an hour. Adrienne said good-bye with some reluctance. She couldn¹t remember the last time she had held a conversation with anyone that hadn¹t been filled with embarrassed pauses or awkward silences. It was good to be treated like an ordinary person again. She waved as she pulled out of the parking lot, suddenly eager to reach a safe haven.

Safe haven. Is there really such a place for me?

She had come three thousand miles in search of one.

Adrienne crossed the causeway onto the island and followed the narrow coast road that wound north on the ocean side. She marveled at how untouched by the modern world the surrounding shoreland appeared. Only her headlights broke the darkness as she carefully followed the twisting highway. Occasionally she caught glimpses of lights through the trees, but she couldn¹t make out any structures from the road. The sea breeze gusted in through her open windows, bringing with it a sudden pang of nostalgia. How she missed the ocean! Despite her melancholy mood, being near the water soothed her, and even after many hours on the road, she felt strangely rested. Her mind was drifting, lulled by the sounds of the sea, and she almost passed the small painted sign that announced the turnoff to Eagle Lane. She braked quickly and negotiated the turn faster than she had intended, feeling the chassis shake under her. Her heart raced as she pulled the big car out of a near spin.

I¹d better stay awake if I¹m going to get there in one piece. After all this, is it would be rotten luck to die in a car crash.

She drove with all her attention on the road until she found the house, looming up in the darkness, all angles and edges. Adrienne sat in her car for a few moments, staring. It was huge! She could make out a wide porch and what looked like a top floor deck winding around the side toward the rear. The ground level was comprised of a garage and a semi-enclosed storage area. The living space actually started on the second floor - a precaution against tidal floods, she imagined.

She finally gathered her suitcases, maneuvered them up the wide front steps, and set out to explore her new home. The spacious bedroom, she discovered to her delight, was in the rear and adjoined the deck. She immediately opened the sliding doors to admit a breeze. She could just make out the shore a hundred yards below her. It was a beautiful setting, and for a fleeting instant she wished she had someone to share it with. She quickly banished that thought, as she had done so many times in the last year. That too, was part of her past.

Suddenly weary, she kicked off her shoes and stretched out on the bed, fully clothed. Within seconds, she was asleep, and mercifully ¯ she did not dream.

~

Five miles up the road, Tanner slammed the door of her seaside bungalow and sprinted toward her Jaguar. She gunned the engine and roared from the drive amidst a shower of gravel. She tore down the coast road, her headlights slashing through the night. If she had left ten minutes earlier, she would have passed Adrienne¹s car on the road. As it was, she saw no one as she hurtled toward her destination. Despite the chill night air, she had the top down on the sleek convertible and the radio turned up, all six speakers blasting. She drummed her fingers impatiently against the steering wheel, maneuvering the twisting turns from memory. When she pulled into a hidden driveway near the south end of the island, careening to a stop behind a long line of sports coupes and roadsters, the party was already in full swing. All of the windows were open on the second floor of the large house, loud music pulsating into the night. Tanner sauntered through the crowd of people gathered on the wide front stairs and made her way into the house. She nodded as friends called a greeting and moved toward the bar set into an alcove on one side of the spacious living area.

³Tanner!² a young man shouted, trying to be heard over the pounding music and din of excited voices. ³Glad you could make it! What are you drinking?²

³Scotch,² she replied. She accepted her drink with a smile and turned to survey the room. Most of the island's young were present, all of them eager to initiate the summer season with abandon. Many of the faces she recognized. For the most part, they were the sons and daughters of the island¹s most wealthy families, home for the summer from expensive universities or simply idling away time they had no better use for. Tanner was no different. She had just returned from a six-month tour of Europe that she had found repetitive and boring.

"So, what are your plans?" the handsome blond asked her.

She shrugged, sipped her drink, not really tasting it. She simply waited for the burning to dissolve into a few hours of numbness. She had no plans. She gave little thought to anything beyond the moment. At least, she tried not to. Tomorrow was a lie, a dream that disappeared with the sunrise. And when she couldn't ignore the oppressive pointlessness of her days, she sought satisfaction in the superficial social life of the island. Unfortunately, keeping apathy at bay was a losing proposition.

"No plans."

"Still waiting for Princess Charming?" Todd Barrow prodded good-naturedly. He had known Tanner since they were children. They had even dated semi-seriously during high school. Both their families had assumed that they would someday marry. It seemed like a natural match. They had remained friends even after Tanner had told him she wasn¹t interested in anything other than friendship, and why. Todd regarded her now with a mixture of bewilder­ment and fondness.

She laughed bitterly. "Afraid not. I've outgrown fairy tales." About ten years ago.

³Really? I thought the young and the innocent were your favorite types,² he responded flippantly.

³Innocence is the last thing I want,² she continued in a strangely hollow voice. Let them find out from someone else that dreams don't come true.

³Are you getting cynical in your old age?² he inquired, his tone still light but his eyes serious. It was rare for Tanner to admit she had doubts or reservations about anything. Despite their long friendship, they hadn't talked intimately in years. Tanner had always been an intensely private person, and perhaps the reason they had remained friends for so long was that he never pried. If she wanted people to believe that she was no more than the rich playgirl she appeared, Todd saw no reason to challenge that image. But he remembered the nights lying beside her out on the beach, sharing their hopes, and their fears. Once upon a time, she had dreamed.

Tanner stared into the night. ³I don¹t know what you¹d call it. I just don¹t find the chase quite as much fun anymore.²

³Too easy?² He knew from his own experience that it was often his money and status that attracted others, not himself personally.

³Not that so much,² she continued with unaccustomed reflection. ³I just don't enjoy winning any more.² She laughed at herself suddenly, shaking her thick, unruly dark hair out of her eyes. ³Come on‹let¹s go find some other kind of action.² She didn¹t feel like being serious tonight, and she certainly didn¹t feel like thinking about the women that she had left in tears, or the broken hearts she had never wanted in the first place.

³I know just what you need,² Todd said with a grin, slipping his arm around her waist. ³Come on!²

They joined a group of women and men in a room dense with smoke. Some people passed a joint, while others sat around a low table where lines of white crystals were carefully arranged. Conversation flowed as everyone sampled the various substances available. Tanner sat down with several friends and returned their greetings as she helped herself. She didn¹t know who had provided the drugs and it didn¹t matter. They were as much a part of the group¹s party offering as alcohol. Tanner stayed a while and then followed the flow of people outside onto the expansive deck. She picked up another scotch on the way and settled comfortably into a lounge chair. She felt re-energized and couldn¹t recall why she had been so bothered earlier. Nothing ever really changed.

The starlit sky illuminated the ocean and pristine shoreline, moonlight glinting off the cresting waves. The surf thundered distantly, a steady reassuring backdrop to the rise and fall of voices around her. Even though she had seen it thousands of times, it stirred her still, and for one brief moment, she longed to escape onto the sea.

A young redhead she had never seen before leaned over her and offered a joint. Tanner accepted automatically, then passed it back.

³Great party, isn¹t it?² the girl said to her as she exhaled the smoke in a long thin stream.

³Sure,² Tanner replied, her stark features flickering with dark amusement. ³First time out here?² The shapely youth looked to be eighteen ¯ maybe.

³How did you know?² the redhead asked in surprise. She rested her hand casually on Tanner's bare forearm, stroking very lightly.

Tanner eyed her trim figure and pretty features appreciatively and grinned. ³Because I know everyone on this island, and I¹ve never seen you before. I¹m sure I¹d remember if I had.²

³Well, I know who you are,² her companion responded coyly. ³I saw you at the Davis¹ beach party last year. Except then you weren¹t alone.²

³Really?² Tanner replied, playing the game that was second nature to her. ³I am tonight. What¹s your name?²

³Jeanette.²

Tanner stared at her for a moment, noting the eager look in her eyes. How easy it would be ¯ and how pointless. She shook her head, not wanting to pursue that thought. But the conquest didn't interest her either, even with such an attractive partner. And that was new.

³You should be careful, Jeanette‹sometimes you get more than you bargained for at these parties,² she said as she gently disengaged the fingers from her arm.

³Look me up later‹if you get lonely,² Jeanette called as she slipped into the crowd, already looking for the next interesting face.

Tanner closed her eyes, and imagined the sway of the deck under her feet, and the sound of the wind whipping the sails. The water surrounded her on all sides. So beautiful, so peaceful‹so deadly.

 ³Find what you were looking for in Europe?² a low sultry voice very near her ear inquired, stirring her from her reverie.

Tanner looked up, her eyes still cloudy with memory, her speech languid and rich. ³What makes you think I was looking for anything at all?²

The woman laughed, settling herself on the chaise next to Tanner. She placed her hand softly on Tanner¹s leg. ³Because you¹ve been looking for something for years. That¹s why you never stay in one place for long. And why you never stay with one person either.²

³You make me sound very mysterious,² Tanner said, draining her scotch and tracing a finger along the older woman's palm.

³Just hard to please.²

Tanner regarded her playfully. She was so close her breath warmed the skin on Tanner's neck. Tanner felt her body's automatic response. ³I never noticed you had much trouble in that department.²

³I didn¹t think you remembered.²

³I haven't forgotten, but my memory could use a little refreshing,² Tanner continued, shifting so that her companion's hand rested on her inner thigh.

The woman searched for a sign of welcome in Tanner's dark eyes, but found them as unreadable as the ocean's depths. She stood, tugging on Tanner¹s hand. ³Let¹s go for a ride. Maybe I can improve your recollections.²

Chapter Two

Whitley Point looked different to Adrienne by daylight. She awakened to early morning sunlight streaming through the open windows onto her bed. She showered, luxuriating in the cool stream of water that seemed to wash away more than the after-effects of a twelve-hour drive. She began to relax for the first time in weeks. The ocean beckoned to her, and she looked forward to a walk on the beach. The May morning was cool, and she pulled a sweater on over a tee shirt and jeans. She frowned at the loose fit of her clothes. She had lost weight, and at five-eight she had never had much to spare even when at her healthiest. That's behind you, now she reminded herself, wishing she could believe it.

She followed a well-worn path down toward the water, winding between rippling dunes that separated the beach from the inner island. As she walked, she noticed houses secluded behind clusters of trees that hadn¹t been apparent the night before. Even by daylight, they blended unobtrusively with the landscape, and she noted appreciatively how the construction and clean simple design of the buildings preserved the natural beauty of the environment. It was obvious that someone had gone to considerable effort to protect the wild nature of the island.

The sound of the surf led her north, and when she rounded the last dune, she halted abruptly. Stretched before her was one of the most beautiful coastlines she had ever seen. In either direction, the beach undulated between the ocean and the rising sands for as far as she could see. On the seaward side of the island, the waves came in at full strength, cresting and breaking off shore. She stood still for some time, listening to the rhythm of the sea. Finally, she began to walk toward the far end of the island, following the irregular shoreline. The tide was on its way out. Sand crabs scuttled along the wet beach, disappearing into holes in the sand as she drew near. She used to make a game of trying to sneak up on them, but she had never gotten close. They were private creatures.

Now she didn¹t impinge on their desire for solitude. She understood it. Lately she had begun to feel somewhat like the shy creatures herself. She avoided people as much as possible, and when she could not, she remained politely aloof. She had withdrawn into herself as instinctively as the little animals did into their sanctuaries in the sand. She was barely aware of her behavior, it had occurred so gradually over the past year. It had become increasingly difficult for her to maintain the kinds of relationships she had once enjoyed. She could sense the change in people's attitudes towards her, and rather than struggle with their discomfort and her own, she had simply adjusted to it.

Such thoughts were far from her conscious mind now, however. The gusting wind from the water invigorated her, and she wished she had worn running shoes. Adrienne smiled at the thought. She hadn¹t run in months. It had once been a daily ritual for her‹to rise early and run on the beach. It had helped her to face the hours of meetings and indoor obligations with equanimity. This morning she occupied herself instead with getting to know her new surroundings. The East Coast was very different from Southern California, where she had lived for the last fifteen years. The shoreline was lower, less threatening; the ocean somehow mellower. The ever-present power of the raging Pacific was absent here, but the sea nevertheless seemed fathomless, full of secrets.

 Adrienne found herself wondering if the answers to her many questions lay hidden on the barren expanse of this shore. She had never felt so alone, so unable to confide in anyone. She didn't know how to voice her deep uncertainties. Almost out of necessity, she had learned to accept her solitude. The loneliness that accompanied it had become a familiar companion.

As she rounded a bend in the island, almost a mile from where she had started, she saw a large dark, shaggy shape rise up out of the ground not twenty feet in front of her. She stopped suddenly, stifling a cry of surprise, and stared at the apparition. After a moment she laughed quietly to herself when she recognized the square head and massive body of a Newfoundland. The dog stood motion­less, surveying her with a calm but curious expression.

Adrienne advanced slowly, softly calling, ³Hi there, pooch. What are you doing out here so early, huh?² The dog didn¹t seem at all disturbed by her presence, but Adrienne was wary. She didn¹t relish the thought of an early morning sprint down the beach with an angry dog at her heels.

She gasped in shock, close enough now to see a body crumpled in the sand on the far side of the vigilant animal. Images from a dozen movies -- the faithful companion guarding its master¹s dead body --flashed through her head. She steeled herself for the horrible sight she was sure was to come, and advanced slowly, continuing to murmur in what she hoped was a reas­suring voice to the dog.

³Oh, Christ!² she muttered when she was close enough to see that the figure, half-turned away from her, was that of a woman. The curve of hip and disheveled collar-length hair left little room for doubt. Instinctively, she looked over her shoulder, wondering if some psychopath still lurked behind the dunes. The beach was deserted except for the dog and the still figure before her.

The dog¹s tail was wagging, and Adrienne decided she could risk a closer look. Taking a deep breath, she grasped an arm and rolled the body over. The pale face was framed with tousled black hair, scattered throughout with bits of twigs and sand. Her features were boldly sculpted, with a strong nose and square chin framing full, rich lips. Just as Adrienne reached out tentatively to touch the woman's face, nearly translucent eyelids fluttered open to reveal dark, unfocused eyes. Adrienne stood transfixed, staring down, captured by those eyes. For an instant there was a hint of innocence, and something lost, swirling in their depths. It wasn¹t until the searching gaze settled questioningly on Adrienne¹s face that Adrienne found her voice.

³God, you frightened me! Are you hurt?² she exclaimed.

³Eternally,² a husky voice replied.

Adrienne leaned back a little as a powerful wave of alcoholic fumes exuding from the prone figure hit her.

³Bull,² Adrienne uttered in exasperation, annoyed now at her earlier fears, ³You¹re not hurt‹you¹re just drunk!²

The dark-haired stranger made an attempt to sit up and fell back into the sand groaning. ³Right now that amounts to the same thing,² she gasped.

The whole scene was so ridiculous Adrienne had to laugh. ³How long have you been here?²

³That depends,² came the weak reply. ³If today is still Saturday‹a few hours. If it¹s not, then you¹ll have to tell me.²

³Must have been some party,² Adrienne muttered as she watched the young woman finally manage to attain an upright position. She wore a light cotton shirt that was half unbuttoned, and Adrienne hastily averted her eyes from the full curve of barely covered breasts beneath. She could see that the arms supporting the woman¹s bowed head were firmly but sleekly muscled, as were the denim-clad legs. She looked to be in her mid-twenties, a good ten years or so Adrienne's junior. Adrienne was caught staring as deep brown eyes, now clear, suddenly fixed her with piecing intensity, and the pale face lit up with a brilliant smile.

³Hello, by the way. I¹m Tanner.²

³Adrienne Pierce,² Adrienne answered somewhat stiffly, annoyed that she had been caught up in this absurd melodrama. All she had wanted was a quiet walk on the beach!

Tanner leaned her cheek on her knee and studied the woman standing ramrod straight before her. Blue eyes like chips of flint met hers coolly. The face seemed flawless except for the signs of strain that showed in the fine lines around her mouth and eyes. Tanner wondered briefly what was bothering her so much, but the thought passed quickly as her pounding headache penetrated her slowly awakening mind.

³Ugh!² Tanner grimaced. ³If I look half as bad as I feel, I¹m surprised you didn¹t run immediately for the body bag.²

Adrienne thought Tanner looked remarkably attractive for someone who had just spent the night in a drunken stupor on the ground, but she certainly wasn¹t going to say so. ³Well, I can¹t say much for your choice of sleeping places,² she commented dryly. ³Besides, your dog may be good company, but she isn¹t big on protection. She let me walk right up to you.²

Tanner managed a slightly flirtatious grin despite her splitting headache. She wanted to crack that ice-cold facade. She wasn't sure why it should matter ¯ but it did. ³Sam probably knew I would be safe with you.²

Adrienne remained impassive. Tanner was lovely to be sure, with her devilish grin and confident charm, but she was obviously trouble. ³Now that you¹re awake, and reasonably oriented in time and space, I¹ll leave you to find your way home when you¹re up to it.² She turned to go but was restrained by a surprisingly firm grip on her arm. Tanner had risen and stood unsteadily beside her.

³Wait a minute, please,² Tanner said anxiously. ³I don¹t even know where you live. I¹d like to talk to you sometime when I can make a more civilized impression.²

Adrienne laughed softly. ³I have a feeling you¹re never entirely civilized. Besides, I doubt that we¹d have much in common. I¹m here on R and R‹that¹s short for reading and resting at this particular point in time. A sabbatical of sorts from the real world. I¹m sure you¹d find that dull.²

Tanner regarded her intently, the expression on her face impossible to decipher. ³Actually, Adrienne, all of us on Whitley Point are attempting to escape life in one way or another. It seems that you¹ve come to the right place if it¹s the real world you want to avoid.²

Adrienne was surprised by the thinly veiled bitterness in Tanner¹s voice, but she didn¹t want to probe for its source. She didn¹t have the energy for someone else¹s problems. She could barely manage her own. ³I didn¹t mean it quite the way it sounded,² she said lightly. ³I¹m just not very interested in socializing these days. Perhaps we will run into each other some time. Take care of yourself,² she finished lamely as she resolutely turned to leave.

Tanner watched the tall, thin figure striding purposefully away for a few seconds and then called to her retreating back, ³Good-bye‹and thanks for rescuing me!²

Tanner thought she heard faint laughter, but Adrienne did not alter her step. Tanner continued to stare after her until she rounded the curve of the shoreline and disappeared from view. She ran both hands through her disheveled hair and straightened her shirt. Moving slowly in an attempt to reduce the force of the cannon barrage in the back of her head, she made her way over the dunes toward the main house. When she entered the kitchen, the housekeeper fixed her with a stern glance.

³And where have you been? You look like a vagabond!² May said, her annoyance clearly displayed in the flash of her dark eyes.

Tanner held up one hand and gave May a pleading glance. ³Coffee, please, and don¹t go on at me right now. I¹m suffering enough, I promise you.²

³Hmph,² the older woman snorted as she poured the steaming liquid into a mug and set it in front of Tanner, who had slumped into a chair at the table.

May had been the housekeeper for Tanner¹s family since before Tanner was born, and she considered it well within her responsibilities to bring Tanner to task for her behavior. In truth, May was often the person who managed to prevent Tanner¹s escapades from coming to the attention of her mother. Tanner knew it, and she was grateful.

³Your friend was up here looking for you earlier,² May commented reproach­fully. ³I had Thomas give her a ride back to the mainland.²

"My friend?" Tanner looked puzzled for a moment, until she suddenly recalled the events of the previous evening.

³Thanks,² she sighed heavily. Now she remembered how she had ended up on the beach. For some reason she hadn¹t been able to sleep with Lois in her bed. After they made love, Tanner had risen quietly, pulling on the clothes they had left in a pile on the floor in their eagerness to undress earlier. Lois had not awakened as Tanner left.

³Where¹s Mother?² she asked.

³On the terrace. And you had better not go out there looking like that. Go shower and change your clothes.² She looked at Tanner with a mixture of fondness and concern. ³Are you all right?²

Tanner smiled wanly and rose to her feet. ³Sure,² she said, giving May a quick hug as she left.

An hour later, refreshed from her shower and dressed in a casual white linen shirt and loose drawstring pants, she climbed the winding outside stairs to the terrace. Her mother looked up from her reading as Tanner approached, and smiled.

³Hello, darling.²

Tanner stooped and kissed her lightly on the cheek. ³Hello, Mother,² she said softly. Tanner was often moved to tenderness at the sight of her mother¹s calm, gentle face. Somehow, she always felt soothed in her presence. They rarely spoke directly of personal things. Their relationship was more an unspoken kinship, but nevertheless, they were deeply bonded to one another.

Tanner stretched out in an adjoining chaise and leaned her head back with a sigh. The late spring sun suffused her with warmth.

Her mother rested her hand gently on Tanner¹s suntanned arm and said quietly, ³It¹s so nice to have you home.² When her daughter didn¹t reply, she realized she was asleep. She studied Tanner¹s face, thinking how young she seemed when she was sleeping. The shadows that often flickered across her features and haunted her deep-set eyes were gone. Her mother recognized that seething unrest very well. It was the same barely contained energy searching for a focal point that had driven her husband for most of his life. It was the thing she had loved‹and feared‹most about him. It was the kind of passion that brought great achievement, or, when unchecked, self-destruc­tion. She fervently hoped her daughter found some direction before she too became a victim of her own undisciplined desires.

Chapter Three

Adrienne arrived back at the large empty house feeling strangely unsettled. She couldn¹t seem to get the encounter with Tanner out of her mind. Something about the mixture of amusement and self-deprecation in the younger woman¹s manner had captivated Adrienne. Probably because she's the first person you've met in months who's in worse shape than you, she chided herself, trying hard to forget the dazzling smile and flirtatious charm.

She let herself in through the sliding glass doors to the sun-filled bedroom, shaking her head impatiently. She recognized in Tanner the same wild recklessness that she had seen in so many of the young Californians who flocked to the bars and beaches, ready to try anything, or anyone, who happened along. If she had ever been that young, or that vital, she couldn¹t remember any longer.

With a determined glance at the suitcases piled next to the door, she put herself to the task of unpacking. She hung her clothes neatly on hangers in the spacious closet, smoothing out her dress uniform and pushing it to the rear along with the rest of her regulation clothing. She wondered absently why she had brought them along. The force of old habits after so many years was hard to break, she guessed.

The afternoon passed quickly as she attempted to bring order to her new surroundings. She stowed her few supplies in the vastly oversized kitchen, and discovered to her delight an amply stocked bar courtesy of the absent owners in a small recessed area off the living room. She poured herself a brandy, wandered outside, and settled into a canvas deck chair. She looked out to the water, reminded of the many evenings she had spent this way at home, relaxing after a long day at the base. The only difference now was that she was alone.

She wondered if she hadn¹t made a mistake coming here. Perhaps she should have returned to the West Coast and found some kind of a job. Certainly she was well qualified. She reminded herself of all the reasons she had decided not to do that. She needed time, she knew, to adjust to the new circumstances of her life. She sought some quiet course to order her days, and a calmness of spirit to face her uncertain future without fear. She hoped she could find that here, on this isolated island, where time seemed suspended.

~

Adrienne¹s days settled quietly into a pattern of rising early to walk on the beach, followed by leisurely hours spent reading in the sun. She explored the island only enough to acquaint herself with the general store where she could buy the few supplies she needed. She nodded politely to the pleasant `hellos¹ of the island's long-time inhabitants, but avoided conversation. If she was lonely, she did not recognize it as such. When she grew restless, she had only to return to the sea to find the comfort her soul craved. Her initial pallor, left over from weeks of inactivity in Philadelphia, was quickly replaced by a deep bronze tan. Her body too began to respond to the exercise and invigorating fresh air, and she began to feel healthy again. She wrote occasional notes to a few friends, and made the obligatory calls to her family, but other than that, she had little contact with anyone.

She was unpacking groceries from her car one morning when she was startled by the sound of her phone ringing. It was such a rare occurrence it took her a moment to realize what it was. "Surely, a wrong number," she thought, as she dashed for the phone.

³Yes,² she said, as she snatched up the receiver.

³Ms. Pierce?² a well-modulated voice inquired.

³Speaking,² Adrienne replied, puzzled. She did not recognize the voice.

³This is Constance Whitley, your neighbor to the north. You¹ve settled in comfortably, I hope?²

Adrienne was nonplussed, wondering how the Whitleys knew of her presence. She should have realized that little escaped the attention of the Whitleys on Whitley Point.

³Yes, I have. Thank you,² she replied after a second.

³I¹m delighted to hear that. I¹m calling to invite you to our open house next Saturday evening. It¹s rather a tradition on Whitley Point. Everyone on the island celebrates the beginning of the summer season at a barbecue dinner-dance at our home. I do hope you can attend.²

³Well, I‹² Adrienne began, desperately seeking a polite way to refuse an invitation from the island¹s most prestigious family. When she could think of none, she replied, ³I would be happy to. Thank you for thinking of me.²

³Not at all, my dear. Dress is informal. We¹ll expect you around seven.²

Constance Whitley rang off with a polite 'good-bye¹, leaving Adrienne staring at the phone. ³Damn,² she muttered under her breath. ³Just what I do not want to do. But I guess I can't refuse the first family.²

As Saturday approached, Adrienne found her hard won peace of mind slipping away. She was nervous about the evening¹s festivities. She hadn¹t attended a public function in almost a year, and she wasn¹t sure she was up to the social niceties. She was plagued throughout the day by a vague ache in her right arm and shoulder, the first time they had bothered her in weeks. Annoyed with herself, she tried to read, but she found she couldn¹t concentrate. When she realized she had read the same paragraph three times and still didn¹t know what it said, she tossed the book aside in disgust. She found herself craving a cigarette after six months without one.

³Oh, what the hell,² she exclaimed, grabbing her keys and stomping down the steps to her car.

She wheeled the vehicle around the cul-de-sac and headed toward the intersec­tion with the main road. Just as she pulled out, a silver Jaguar hurtled around the curve and barreled down upon her. A horn blasted, and only her quick reflexes saved her from being broadsided. She yanked the wheel hard to the right, nearly forcing her car into a ditch. As she slammed to a stop, the sports car roared away. Adrienne caught only a glimpse of the rear of the car as it disappeared around a corner. She couldn¹t see the driver, but the letters THW stood out clearly on the license plate.

³Damn!² Adrienne cursed, beginning to tremble slightly. She waited for her breathing to quiet and backed the car carefully onto the road. She drove at a sedate pace to the store, still shaken by the near accident.

³Good morning, Mr. Simms,² she said to the familiar face behind the counter. ³Could I have a pack of Dunhills, please?²

³Sure thing. Beautiful sailing weather, isn¹t it?² he responded with a smile.

Adrienne bit back a sarcastic comment, and looked out over the marina; after all, he was just being friendly. Impossibly blue sky, decorated with picture-postcard clouds, joined an expanse of brilliant ocean as far as she could see. ³You¹re right, the sea is perfect.²

³Do you do much sailing, Ms. Pierce?² he asked as he rang up the sale.

³I have. Not this summer, though.²

³Well, there are some nice little boats here you can rent if you ever get the urge.²

³Thank you. I¹ll remember that,² Adrienne replied as she accepted her change.

She drove home along the beach road remembering the feel of the sails in her hands. Why not? You're strong enough now.

Some small part of her soul, long dormant, flickered to life.

~

It wasn¹t difficult to find Whitley Manor. It occupied the entire north end of the island, and the main road stopped at its massive iron front gate. Adrienne followed a line of cars up the curving drive and parked her modest rental car beside a row of Mercedes, Jaguars, and BMW¹s. She caught her breath when she saw the house.

It was hidden from the beach by a copse of trees, and though she had glimpsed it from the shore, she had never realized how impressive it was. Three stories and one of the few stone edifices on the island, it had been carefully designed not to detract from the landscape surrounding it. Sunken pools accented by recessed lights bordered a meandering flagstone walkway threading through gardens to the wide front staircase. A spacious porch led from the main level around the side of the house, with a second open deck one floor above.

Adrienne could see that the veranda was already crowded with guests. She handed her keys to the handsome young man who was parking cars and took a deep breath. She was here now; she might as well go up. She steadied her nerves and began to climb the stairs. She wasn¹t looking forward to greeting a mass of strangers, especially alone. She had chosen a pale blue silk suit, comfortable, yet elegant in its simplicity. As she glanced over to the portico to the right of the drive, she saw a silver Jag with a familiar license plate parked halfway up on the lawn.

Well, at least THW made it here in one piece!

Anger surged quickly. She was still disconcerted over her near collision earlier in the day, and she didn't need any further reminders of life's fragility. She struggled to put it from her mind, and joined the flow of people heading to the rear reception area. A passing waiter offered her a glass of champagne, which she gratefully accepted.

The patio in the rear of the house overlooked a multilevel garden, impec­cably groomed. Adrienne leaned against a pillar, attempting to get her bearings. She watched the people around her with interest. The men, for the most part, were dressed in slacks and jackets, the women in light evening dresses. Somewhere off to the side she could hear a band playing. A gentle hand on her arm interrupted her quiet surveillance.

³Ms. Pierce?²

Adrienne turned to find an aristocratic woman in her mid-forties standing by her side. She was dressed in an exquisite pearl-gray dress, set off by a simple emerald necklace. Adrienne stared at her for a moment, uncertain.

The woman smiled at her. ³I¹m Constance Whitley. I¹m so glad you could come.² Her voice was soft, like her eyes, and Adrienne found herself holding her breath, half expecting this gentle apparition to disappear. Suddenly, she became aware of the slightly puzzled look on her hostess¹ face, and she put out her hand in greeting.

³Thank you for inviting me. Forgive me for staring,² Adrienne continued. ³It seemed for a moment that I had met you before.²

Constance laughed quietly, her eyes suddenly lively. ³Well, perhaps it¹s my rather ordinary face.²

Adrienne blushed, feeling foolish. ³It is hardly ordinary, Mrs. Whitley.²

³Please call me 'Constance',² she said as she hooked her arm through Adrienne¹s. ³Come, let me introduce you to a few of your neighbors.²

Adrienne allowed herself to be taken in tow by this charming woman, nodding hello as she was introduced to one smiling face after another.

The men and women all seemed strangely of a type‹sleek, well groomed and displaying the easy confidence that their wealth and position afforded them. They all seemed to know their place in the world, and it was obvious that it suited them.

Adrienne was sure she wouldn¹t remember a single name. They were making their way through the crowd when a familiar voice boomed out. ³Commander Pierce! Is that you?²

Adrienne jumped and then blushed as she saw heads turn in her direction. She recognized the large man in full dress uniform immediately. She couldn¹t help but smile, despite her acute embarrassment. ³Admiral Evans‹how nice to see you, sir. And it isn¹t `Commander¹ anymore. I¹ve retired.²

³Nonsense, Commander! A long leave, I understand. You¹ll soon grow tired of civilian life and get back where you belong.² He took charge of her at once as Constance slipped away to see to her other guests. They walked over to the rail, out of the way of the throng of people milling about.

³How are you, Adrienne?² he asked kindly.

³I¹m fine, sir, really. The sea air has always agreed with me.²

³Hmph,² he muttered. ³Of course I know that. I remember when you were just a young ensign. Damn shame you're thinking of giving it all up. These things can be handled, you know.²

Adrienne looked away uncomfortably. ³Please, Admiral. Not tonight.²

He looked chagrined and hastily changed the subject. ³Quite right, quite right. How are you finding Whitley Point?²

³It¹s charming,² Adrienne replied honestly. ³Do you have a house here?² She realized she was quite happy to see a familiar face.

³Oh, no. I¹ve known Constance Hughes‹well, Whitley now, of course‹since she was a child. I visit here often. She¹s a wonderful woman.²

³She certainly seems to be,² Adrienne agreed.

³It¹s a wonder, really, being widowed so young‹with a daughter to raise, as well as the entire Whitley fortune to manage. She¹s done remarkably well.²

³I can see that,² Adrienne commented noncommittally. She was truly fond of her ex-commanding officer, but she wasn¹t in the mood for light gossip at the moment. She suddenly felt very tired.

³Would you excuse me, sir? I¹d like to wander around for a bit.²

³Of course, Commander. I¹ll look for you later.²

Adrienne retreated quickly down into the garden and found a seat on a secluded bench, separated from the stone walkway by a hedgerow. She sipped her champagne and tried to collect her thoughts. Seeing Admiral Evans had reminded her all too clearly of how far she had strayed from her previous way of life. She felt unnerved. Truly at sea, she thought bitterly.

³A bit much, isn¹t it? The party,² a cool voice said at her elbow.

Adrienne turned to find Tanner, resplendent in a nearly sheer white blouse and silk tuxedo trousers, standing casually beside her. Tanner's athletic figure was well displayed in the finely tailored clothing. Adrienne stared at her, taken aback.

³So, it¹s `Commander¹ is it?² Tanner continued smoothly, taking a seat beside Adrienne on the stone bench.

Adrienne found her voice and responded dryly, ³Were you eavesdropping?²

³Guilty, ma¹am.² Tanner grinned disarmingly. She tossed a fairly good salute to emphasize her words.

Adrienne laughed despite herself. ³Oh stop! And no, it is not `Commander¹‹I¹ve retired.²

³Really?² Tanner continued flirtatiously. ³I would think you have many good years of service left.²

Adrienne paled slightly and turned away, searching in her handbag for a cigarette. She was annoyed to find that her hands were trembling.

Tanner touched her arm quickly, instantly concerned. ³I¹m sorry! I always seem to say something stupid when I¹m around you.² She reached quickly to light Adrienne¹s cigarette. Adrienne exhaled the smoke slowly and smiled, her eyes on Tanner¹s worried face.

³It¹s all right,² Adrienne said quietly, ³It¹s just a very long story, and not one I'm fond of telling.²

Tanner held up a hand and shook her head, ³I understand. It¹s none of my business, really. There are things I'd rather not talk about, too. But I am very glad to see you again.² She lit a cigarette of her own, and they sat in comfortable silence for a few moments. They seemed strangely alone, isolated by the dense shrubbery, despite the people passing by just yards away from them.

³Better?² Tanner inquired finally.

Adrienne smiled, stubbing out the cigarette she discovered she didn't really want. ³Yes, I¹m sorry. I seem to have lost my sense of humor somewhere this past year.²

Tanner gazed intently up at the crowd on the veranda above them. ³Perhaps you¹ll regain it here on our peaceful island,² she said darkly.

It was Adrienne¹s turn to stare, taken aback by the bitter tone in Tanner¹s voice and the obvious pain on her face. ³Don¹t you find it peaceful here?² she asked gently.

Tanner laughed without humor. She lifted the champagne bottle resting by her side and filled Adrienne's glass. ³Hardly, but then that¹s my story, isn¹t it?² she responded abruptly.

Adrienne thought perhaps she should have felt rebuked by the curt reply, but she didn¹t. She knew how important her privacy had become to her, and she could more easily accept it in others. Besides, she hadn¹t the energy to probe another¹s anguish, nor the strength to offer solace.

³Let¹s just say we both have our stories, and let it go at that,² Adrienne said quietly. ³Do you live near here? I never asked.²

Tanner nodded. ³I¹m a native. Can¹t seem to escape. I¹ve tried New York, and Boston, but I always seem to return to the Point. I never feel really whole unless I¹m near the sea.²

Adrienne nodded. ³I know what you mean. I love it, too.²

³So you chose the Navy?² Tanner asked.

³Yes. Eighteen years. I don¹t know if it was the uniform or the sea which attracted me the most at first,² Adrienne laughed. ³After a while, it was definitely the sea.²

³I¹ll bet you look absolutely smashing in a uniform,² Tanner said with a grin.

Adrienne looked uncomfortable. ³You watch too many movies.²

³Nope. I read too many books.²

Adrienne laughed. ³Oh, all right, you win. I did like the uniform.²

They both laughed, and watched in silence as the sky darkened, a spectacular sunset giving way to the soft glow of the moon and stars. The beauty was nearly painful, and Adrienne was acutely aware of the woman beside her. She glanced at the chiseled profile, wondering if Tanner felt it too. Don't, she chided herself, don't even wonder.

³Hungry?² Tanner inquired finally.

³Famished,² Adrienne replied, realizing it was true. ³I take it there¹s food nearby?²

³Scads. Come on‹I¹ll lead the way.²

They were helping themselves to the ample buffet when Constance Whitley approached them with an engaging smile.

³I see that you¹ve met my daughter, Ms. Pierce,² she said when she reached them.

Adrienne looked quickly from Tanner to Constance, momentarily taken aback. ³Of course! Now I know why I thought I recognized you earlier! The resemblance is striking!²

Constance smiled fondly at Tanner, reaching out to stroke her cheek gently. ³You compliment me, Ms. Pierce.² She nodded graciously as she moved away, leaving them in an uncomfortable silence.

Tanner stood quietly, waiting for Adrienne to react. She was used to the response her status evoked, especially from women. Inevitably they either became exceedingly cold or insufferably solicitous. She was totally unprepared for Adrienne¹s response.

³It was you!² Adrienne exploded angrily. ³THW‹that¹s `Tanner Hughes Whitley¹ isn¹t it?²

³Yes, but‹² Tanner began, clearly confused. Now what have I done?

³You damn idiot! You nearly killed me today! Haven¹t you ever heard of speed limits?²

Tanner stared at her, dumbfounded. ³What are you talking about?²

³On the shore highway this afternoon! You nearly ran me off the road,² Adrienne continued, struggling to contain her temper.

Tanner searched her memory and drew a blank. ³I¹m sorry. Today? I don¹t remember. I was‹uhm, a little‹out of touch this afternoon,² she said with embarrass­ment, remembering the afternoon's high she had shared with some friends.

³Well, perhaps the next time you¹re drunk, or stoned, or whatever it is that you do, you¹ll do the rest of the world a favor and stay off the roads!² Adrienne ex­claimed. She turned abruptly and stormed away. She didn¹t exactly know what incensed her more ‹ the fact that Tanner had nearly killed her, or the fact that Tanner might have killed herself.

Tanner was left staring after her. ³Damn!² she cursed vehemently. She couldn¹t seem to do anything right when it came to that woman. She went off to find another glass of champagne, still smarting from Adrienne¹s attack.

Chapter Four

It was late when Adrienne finally returned home. Admiral Evans had monopolized her attentions for most of the evening, insisting that she meet half the population of Whitley Point. She had attempted to make polite conversation with people she had no intention of ever seeing again, while her anger burned dangerously close to the surface.

Tanner had tried to approach her several times, a conciliatory look on her handsome face, but Adrienne managed to avoid her. The last thing she needed was another confrontation with someone who seemed to incite her own worst traits. Pointless anger would do neither of them any good. She had enough conflict in her life already. The last time she saw her, Tanner was being led away by an attractive blond in a low-cut evening gown.

Adrienne stripped off her clothes irritably, uncharacteristically tossing them aside. So what if she made a spectacle of herself, letting that woman hang all over her. She'd had enough champagne ¯she probably needed the help! Oh! What do you care! Tanner is obviously capable of taking care of her own needs.

Adrienne wasn¹t at all sure why Tanner had this disquieting effect on her. She hardly knew the woman! Still, there was something about the look in Tanner¹s eyes, something that verged on despair ¯ or a deep anguish, that echoed Adrienne's own pain. She felt it, and she wanted to reach out to her.

Don't be ridiculous. You can barely look after yourself! She's probably just bored!

Tanner did seem adrift, probably as a result of never wanting for the things ordinary people struggled a lifetime to attain. Tanner had money, and privilege, but it didn't seem to have brought her happiness. Adrienne¹s frustration, on the other hand, was far more dangerous. She didn't trust herself. She didn't trust her future. Without a clear idea of where her life was leading, she seemed in fact to have nowhere to go. It was a paralyzing circle of questions without answers.

Let it go. You can't help her. You have no right even thinking of it.

She collected her scattered garments, and hung them carefully in the closet. She pulled on a faded pair of fatigue pants and a shirt that still showed the faint marks of her insignia on the collar. Wide-awake, she wandered out onto the deck.

 Overhead the sky was velvet black, punctuated by bright points of starlight. Adrienne leaned back in the chaise with a sigh, stretching her long legs out in front of her. She was agitated and restless. The sounds of the distant surf failed to have their usual calming effect. Her thoughts kept returning to issues she wasn't prepared to face. Months ago she had given up trying to figure out why her life had taken such an unexpected turn, culminating in her arrival at Whitley Point. She was here, far from the settled, predictable world she had grown used to. If there were some logic to it, some hidden reason to the events that had completely changed her life, she couldn¹t identify it. She didn¹t want to try. All she wanted was to learn to deal with what had befallen her. She thought she was succeeding, until she met Tanner. Now her hard won peace of mind was threatened by the reflection of her own loss mirrored in Tanner¹s dark eyes. She rubbed her aching shoulder and pushed herself up.

If I can't sleep, I might as well walk. Anything to stop these endless questions.

Adrienne climbed down the stairs toward the beach. As she walked, night sounds surrounded her ¯ the wind bending blades of grass, the waves, rushing to destruction in the shoals, the small living creatures fleeing her approach. She continued to think of Tanner. It was incomprehensible to Adrienne how someone with so much to live for could be so heedless of her own well-being. Especially recently, Adrienne had come to know the value, and the vagary, of life. It seemed to her now, reflecting on her own situation, that life was dangerously unpredictable, ready to spin away, out of one¹s grasp, at any moment. She knew she would give anything to feel in control of her own fate again. Tanner's face flickered into her mind, something bitter and hard glinting in her beautiful eyes. It seemed to her that Tanner was squandering her most precious possession‹herself.

Surely, if there is sin, it must be that‹to throw life away as if it were nothing.

She hadn't meant to, but she thought back to her own beginnings. She had not come from a privileged background. Her parents were simple people who believed that if you worked hard enough you would eventually succeed. Adrienne had grown up believing that. Until a year ago, nothing in her life had proved that philosophy wrong. She had studied endless hours, being bright, but not gifted. She had proved herself in a male world, in a male field, by being the best -- by working the hardest. She had been convinced that dedication and fortitude would finally be rewarded. Everything in her life had confirmed that. She had succeeded; she had everything she had ever wanted. Then suddenly, without warning, it had all dissolved.

Now she was lost, uncertain of her next move‹unsure of what the next day might bring. She questioned what remained for her now and struggled to accept a life without dreams, without passion. There had been a time, not too long ago, when the most important goal in her life had been to live through another day. Now she awoke to a sunrise that dawned on an empty day, and felt only pointlessness.

She shook her head angrily. Stop it! You should be used to times like this by now. You know damn well there are no reasons, no explanations, no answers.  Stop asking!

She continued to walk, unmindful of any destination, lost in the memory of dark wounded eyes and ravaged lives. The beach was still‹even the waves seemed to realize it was nighttime, breaking softly and rolling gently onto the shore. The half-moon cast soft shadows over the sand. Adrienne fell into step with the regular rhythm of the ocean, walking steadily along the edge of the tide pools. She half expected to come upon some shipwrecked sailor in this unreal world of sound and shadow. She was only slightly startled when her solitude was shattered by a husky voice calling out to her in the darkness.

³You do look good in a uniform.²

Adrienne could make out a still form hunched over in the protection of a gently rising swell of dunes. She approached silently and sat down on the moist ground.

³Where¹s your friend?² Adrienne asked.

³Asleep in my bungalow.²

³What are you doing out here?² Adrienne continued, studying Tanner¹s set features. The effects of the alcohol appeared to have worn off. She looked tired, but composed. ³It¹s much too cool to sleep out here.²

³Couldn¹t sleep,² Tanner answered lightly. She could never figure out why the presence of another person in her bed disturbed her. She was always wide-awake after sex, unaccountably restless. ³How about you? Pretty late for a walk on the beach, isn¹t it?²

³The ocean relaxes me,² Adrienne answered noncommittally. She took a deep breath and continued. ³Listen, I¹m sorry I went off at you back there at the party. It¹s just thatŠ²

Tanner interrupted with a shake of her head. ³No need. You were right. If I¹m going to screw myself up, the least I can do is have the decency not to involve other people. I¹m sorry.²

Adrienne stared at her, shocked by the hollowness in her voice. This was not the cocky, confident woman she had verbally jousted with earlier. She seemed so defeated! Adrienne much preferred her maddening arrogance.

³That¹s not what I was trying to say to you!² she continued without really thinking. ³I was worried about you‹and angry at you, too. You could have really hurt yourself!²

³Why should you care?² Tanner said without rancor. ³It doesn¹t really matter all that much.²

³Oh, Tanner!² Adrienne cried. ³You¹re so wrong. It matters so very much! You have a choice about your life, about what happens to you. You mustn¹t throw that away!²

Tanner looked at her questioningly. ³We all have those choices, don¹t we? I just choose not to decide. C'est la vie, and all that.²

³It¹s not always that simple. Sometimes life slips through your fingers, and there's nothing you can do to stop it.²

Tanner turned, searching her face. Adrienne wasn't looking at her. She was staring out at the water, her face in the moonlight almost otherworldly - distantly beautiful, remote and untouchable. ³You¹re not really talking about me, are you? You¹re talking about yourself. What things can¹t you control?² Tanner continued to study her, aware of the tenor of pain in her voice. What is it? What has hurt you so much?

Adrienne looked away, her jaw clenched. ³I didn¹t mean me, exactly. I just meant you ¯ everyone -- should be more responsible.²

³No you weren't,² Tanner continued quietly. ³There¹s something else you¹re not saying, Commander Pierce. But you can keep your secrets‹for a while.² She leaned back on her arms, watching the flickering shadows highlight the little creatures scuttling along the beach on their midnight errands.

³Did you ever feel like there was something you wanted, but you didn¹t know what it was?² Tanner asked at length, her gaze still fixed on the sea.

Adrienne followed her gaze, caught up in the mellow tone of her voice. Moonlight glinted on the water in broken streaks of silver. ³I think so‹a long time ago. It¹s been a very long time since I can remember wanting anything that badly‹so badly I could feel it like an ache in my bones. Is that what you mean?²

Tanner nodded. ³What was it you wanted?²

Adrienne laughed. ³Probably not what you¹re talking about. I wanted a career, a future. But tell me what it is you think you want.²

Tanner ran a hand through her already tousled hair and frowned. ³I don¹t know. I can¹t seem to settle anywhere. I wander around, but I always seem to return to Whitley Point. I make love, but I can only sleep when I¹m alone. I drink, or worse, but I only feel emptier. Nothing seems to mean very much to me.² She sighed and looked at Adrienne with a sheepish grin. ³Pretty pathetic, huh?²

Adrienne smiled at her, touched by the wistfulness in her voice. ³Confused, maybe. God knows, I don't have the answers. What makes life worth living is different for everyone. And sometimes it's very hard to know what those things are.²

³Is that why you came to Whitley Point‹to find those answers?²

Adrienne shrugged, sifting sand through her long fingers, tossing bits of broken shells into the darkness. ³I thought I did, at first. Now I¹m not sure. Maybe I just came here so I wouldn¹t have to face not knowing. It¹s a nice place to hide, this island. After a while it¹s easy to forget that there really is another world out there.²

³Was there someone you left behind‹back there in California?² Tanner asked quietly.

³No,² Adrienne said abruptly, turning her face away.

Tanner sighed. ³I¹m sorry. I always seem to hit some sore spot with you. It¹s just that you don¹t seem to be the kind of person not to be involved." You're too beautiful, and too tender, to be so alone.

Adrienne shifted slightly in the sand so that she could look into Tanner¹s eyes. They were warm, and welcoming. There was something about this woman that made her want to talk. She felt almost safe with her. Still, Adrienne hesitated, afraid of what she might feel. Tanner awakened thoughts that she had avoided for months. She hadn¹t talked to anyone, not even Tom, about the events of the last year of her life. He was one of her closest friends, and she knew he cared about her very much, but she couldn¹t bring herself to put words to her emotions. Because if she did, she'd have to face the pain, and the fear. Nevertheless, the honest concern in the Tanner's dark eyes gave her courage.

³There was someone,² she began slowly, trying to find the right words.

When Adrienne hesitated, Tanner urged her on gently, sensing Adrienne's struggle. ³Is that the reason you left the Navy?²

Adrienne shook her head. ³No. I...she left me for the same reason I left the service, something else. Something personal.² Adrienne felt no need to explain her relationship with Alicia. Somehow she sensed that Tanner had recognized her par­ticular preference in partners. Certainly Tanner made no secret of her interests. But she still couldn't tell her all of it. She couldn't expose herself, couldn't bear the pity.

³That¹s the real secret, isn¹t it? The reason that you¹re here at Whitley Point.²

³Yes.²

Tanner couldn¹t miss the thinly veiled anguish in Adrienne¹s voice, and she longed to offer her some comfort. ³What is it?²

Adrienne¹s reply came softly. ³I can¹t talk about it, not right now. I¹m sorry.² The last words came out in a choked whisper. Adrienne's eyes brimmed with tears she refused to shed, had never shed, not even in her darkest hours.

Tanner sensed her withdraw, and knew she couldn't ask Adrienne to go on. Her suffering was too clear. God, she hurts so much!

Tanner responded without thinking, offering the only comfort she knew. She leaned slowly towards Adrienne, her eyes never leaving Adrienne¹s troubled blue ones, until their faces were only inches apart. At last they were so close that she had to lower her head slightly so that she could bring her lips gently down to Adrienne¹s. Adrienne did not pull away under the pressure of Tanner¹s kiss. Tanner moved her lips gently over Adrienne¹s soft mouth, her tongue gently, tentatively, exploring. She didn't hurry, or touch her in any other way. She was lost in the sweet surprise of the moment. She could barely believe the tenderness of this simple kiss. It was not a new experience for her, and yet she felt all the wonder of the first time. There had been so many others since then, and no one had moved her quite like this silent, tormented woman. Her tongue slipped into Adrienne¹s mouth, and the warm serenity of it was almost more then she could bear. She moaned softly, as her whole being flowed toward Adrienne. With one trembling hand, Tanner cupped the side of Adrienne¹s face, feeling Adrienne's heart beat in the pulse just below her jaw. Tanner rose slowly to her knees, caressing Adrienne¹s neck, tangling her fingers in the strands of blond hair near her collar. Her head was buzzing, and she was having trouble catching her breath. Her belly pounded with desire, her thighs quivered, and remotely, she heard herself groan. Suddenly the kiss was broken as Adrienne pulled away sharply.

³No!² Adrienne cried.

Tanner stared at her, shaking, her vision cloudy with need. ³Oh God ¯ I didn't mean ¯ I --² She reached out to touch Adrienne's arm, her hand trembling badly. "Please, I only wanted ¯"

Adrienne jumped to her feet, her eyes fixed on Tanner¹s flushed face. ³I¹m sorry, Tanner‹you just don¹t understand! I can¹t‹I¹m sorry!² She turned away and began to run.

³Adrienne! Wait‹please! Just talk to me!² Tanner called after her. Adrienne didn¹t reply but continued to run until she was out of sight, leaving Tanner still kneeling in the sand.

Chapter Five

Tanner sat on the beach until the sun came up. She was still thinking about Adrienne. Every time she thought about those soft lips against hers, the heat of Adrienne's mouth, the soft brush of skin against her palm, she felt another wave of desire. It was so strange! She didn¹t understand why this woman, whom she hardly knew, could have such a powerful effect on her. But the sensation was undeniable.

She wasn't sure what to do. She was used to being pursued. Most often it was her name, or her status, or her reputation that attracted the women. She usually took the easy way out, giving in to someone else's attraction, only to withdraw quickly when the situation became too intense. This time, she didn¹t want to pull away.

Her first instinct was to go to Adrienne and insist that they talk. She wasn't a patient person, by nature or by breeding. She was used to having what she wanted. And though she knew it wasn't wise to confront Adrienne, she almost didn't care. She wanted to unlock the secret that held Adrienne captive.

Tanner stood up in frustration and walked slowly up the path that led to her bungalow. When she entered she found Jean still asleep on the unmade bed. She shook her gently, calling, ³Jean! It¹s time for you to get up. Jerry will wonder where you are!²

The blond rolled over lazily and smiled, still drowsy from sleep.

³No he won¹t. I¹m sure he already knows where I am.²

Tanner frowned in exasperation. ³Great! Just what I need‹an irate husband crashing in here at six o¹clock in the morning!²

Jean reached up for her with a grin. ³He wouldn¹t do that. He knows I¹ll come home, as long as he doesn¹t interfere with my little escapades.²

Tanner stepped back, out of Jean¹s reach. ³Wonderful. I¹m glad you two have such an understanding relationship. But I¹d still rather not end up in the middle of it.² She gathered up Jean¹s dress and handed it to her. ³Come on. Get dressed.²

Jean stretched leisurely, stood, and pulled the dress on over her head. She looked at Tanner with inquisitive eyes. ³Where have you been?²

Tanner looked away. ³Out for a walk.²

³Hmm. With that visitor from down the road?²

Tanner flushed and looked at her angrily. ³What is that supposed to mean?²

Jean shrugged and picked up her handbag. ³Nothing. I just noticed that you spent a lot of time watching her last night. And, if you ask me, my dear, you should forget her. She looks like a cold bitch to me.²

³Well, I didn¹t ask you!² Tanner responded shortly. ³Now, would you mind leaving before the entire household sees you?²

Jean kissed her sensuously on the lips as she made her way toward the door. ³Certainly. But you¹re a fool if you think that anyone at that party doesn¹t know I spent the night with you.²

Tanner stared after her as she slipped out the door. She pulled off her shirt and threw herself down in disgust on the bed. Her last thought before she finally slept was of Adrienne¹s face as she turned to run from her on the beach.

~

Adrienne had not spoken to anyone in the two weeks since Constance Whitley¹s barbecue. She had even avoided the general store until necessity forced her to make the trip. She still walked on the beach each day, but she never walked north. She didn¹t want to be reminded of the night on the shore with Tanner. She was angry with herself‹angry for dropping her guard, angry for letting anyone breach the protective barrier she had so carefully erected around her feelings. How easily Tanner had penetrated her defenses! How easily she had come, with her dark eyes and wistful words, right into the center of Adrienne¹s consciousness.

Now Adrienne found she could not get Tanner out of her thoughts! And she did not want to think! She did not want to think about San Diego, or Alicia, or her former career, or any of it! And she especially did not want to think about Tanner. Because every time she did, she was reminded of how gentle Tanner¹s lips felt against her mouth, and of how sweet her touch had been on her face. Tanner¹s sexual energy was compelling, and Adrienne knew desire again. A desire as unbidden as the desire to breathe. There was no good reason for it! It was purely physical. And that was what frightened her‹she had not felt anything like it for so long that it was hard for her to accept. It there was anything she had been sure of, it was that such feelings had been obliterated by the trials of the last year. Now she wasn¹t certain of anything‹except that she had to avoid seeing Tanner again at all cost.

She read, she ate when she could remember to, and she tried not to think. She found that the tranquility of her solitary existence had disappeared. Her body longed for activity, and she grew intolerably restless. She felt that she would go mad if she didn¹t find something with which to occupy herself. That was when she remembered her conversation weeks previously with Mr. Simms.

Early one morning, she packed some gear and a lunch and set out for the marina. She parked her car in the shade and went into the general store. She found the friendly proprietor unpacking cans at the far end of an aisle.

³Good morning!² she called. ³I want to rent a sailboat!²

Mr. Simms looked up and smiled, dusting his hands off on his faded khaki pants. ³That¹s simple enough. Just walk on down to the office and talk to Josh Thomas. He¹ll fix you up.² He pointed through the windows to the gray-shingled, all-purpose boat repair and rental building at the end of a wooden pier with sloops moored on either side.

Adrienne smiled her thanks and left. As she walked down the pier, she smiled, feeling almost happy for the first time in weeks. She was looking forward to being out on the ocean again. Her smile disappeared when she saw Tanner¹s silver sports coupe parked on the pier close to the water¹s edge. She almost left, and then shook her head angrily. ³No!² she whispered to herself. ³I can't keep running from her. Seeing her won't be a problem. I hope.² She pressed resolutely on, finding the manager of the marina overhauling one of the sloops hoisted up in dry dock.

Josh Thomas was a weather beaten, bearded man of indeterminate age. He had the look of a native about him, and when he called down a greeting to her, Adrienne recognized the distinctive New England accent. She introduced herself and told him what she wanted. He turned out to be a charming man who took her enthusiastically down to the dock and helped her choose a craft. He described to her in loving detail the particulars of the boat she wanted.

³That¹s it, then, Ms. Pierce,² he said finally. ³She¹s all yours. Just be sure to keep an ear on the weather bulletins and get her in by nightfall. Summer squalls blow up quickly in these waters, and this harbor is difficult to navigate in the dark.²

³I will,² Adrienne replied with a smile. As she turned to climb aboard, she added, ³By the way‹isn¹t that Tanner Whitley¹s car over there?²

Josh looked in the direction she had pointed and nodded. ³Sure is.² He laughed and shook his head. ³She¹s been out before sun-up every day for the last two weeks. If I didn¹t know better, I¹d think she was out poaching lobster pots!² He continued to chuckle as he walked away, leaving Adrienne alone with her craft.

Adrienne sailed slowly for the first hour, getting used to the pull of the sails and the unfamiliar waters. Finally, as the wind peaked in the early afternoon, she let her sails out and made a fast run with the wind, exhilarating in the freedom and power of the boat under her. Physically she felt wonderful, and the boat was so demanding under full sail that she didn¹t have time to think about the disturbing events of the last few weeks. She anchored in a quiet cove on the lee side of one of the small islands that dotted the coast. She was starved and looking forward to the bottle of wine she had brought along as a treat. She stretched out on the deck after her meal, basking in the sun. She relaxed and allowed her mind to wander, free from the questions that plagued her most of her waking hours. She must have napped, for the next thing she knew, the wind had grown cool, and the boat rocked heavily on the tide. She opened her eyes and was surprised to find the sun already low on the horizon. She hastily gathered the remains of her meal and got under sail, anxious to make port before darkness. Even with a good wind it was almost dark when she sailed into Whitley Harbor. Josh Thomas ran to meet her on the pier and caught the towline she tossed to him.

³I was getting a little worried there,² he called. ³It¹s almost dark!²

³I know,² Adrienne replied as she jumped down onto the dock. ³I must have fallen asleep in the sun. I¹m sorry.² She smiled at him, feeling exhilarated. ³It was wonderful out there!²

³Can¹t argue with that,² he responded as he walked with her up toward the marina.

Adrienne waved good-bye cheerfully and started away. She saw the silver Jaguar parked where it had been that morning, and she turned suddenly, calling, ³Oh, Mr. Thomas, is Ms. Whitley back in yet?² She was surprised by the frown that darkened his pleasant features as he responded.

³No, and there¹s no telling when she will be. She¹s a damn fool to think she can run in these waters at night. There¹s too much of her father in her. She thinks the rules don¹t apply to her. If she weren¹t such a good sailor, we¹d probably have found her washed up ashore somewhere too!² He saw Adrienne pale slightly and hurried on. ³I¹m sorry, ma¹am. I think the world of Tanner, just like I did her father. She just makes me mad sometimes. I¹ll try to raise her on the short wave if you like.²

Adrienne shook her head. ³No, that's not necessary ¯ I'm sure she knows what she's doing.² She hurried away. She doesn't need to know I was asking about her. I don't even know why I care.

Adrienne's time on the water had awakened some long-dormant joy, reviving her. As she drove home, she wondered about Tanner, about what solace she might be finding in her solitary forays onto the sea. That Tanner was running from something, too, Adrienne had no doubt. She could hear it in Tanner's voice, and see it in the depths of her dark soulful eyes. Despite her lingering thoughts of Tanner, and the uneasy memories of their kiss, that night she had the first full night¹s sleep in days.

It became the new habit of her days to arrive early each morning with her gear and her lunch and to spend the entire day on the boat. She swam, she read, she sailed better than she ever had. She often saw Tanner's distinctive sports coupe parked on the pier, but she never saw Tanner. She didn¹t mind‹she had no desire to see her. With her days so full, she was able to ignore the lingering images of the two of them on the moonlit beach. When she would awaken from a dream where Tanner's touch still tingled on her skin, she quickly dismissed it as a natural response to her long weeks of solitude. She had been tired and discouraged, and Tanner had been there. It was nothing more than that. If some line from a song on the radio brought Tanner's husky voice to mind, she assured herself it was just a passing fancy.

May turned into June, the weather grew warmer, and as the days lengthened, Adrienne's strength returned. She felt fit and whole and nearly content. Life was as good as she dared hope it could be.

Chapter Six

Adrienne made port one gray afternoon just ahead of a bank of storm clouds that were swiftly approaching from the south. It was sheer luck that she been sunning on the deck with the radio turned on in the tiny galley below. Through the open hatch she heard the Coast Guard weather station warning of fast moving squalls. She hadn't been that far from the harbor, but still she didn¹t really relax until she was in sight of the marina. By that time the rain had started, and rising winds buffeted her sailboat from side to side. Most of the slips were full with boats seeking shelter from the threatening storm.

Josh Thomas was running hurriedly up and down the pier double-checking tie lines and adjusting bumpers between the ship's hulls and the dock. He waved her into one of the unoccupied moorings, shouting something she couldn't hear. She tossed him her bowline, and together they secured her own craft.

He lifted his yellow slicker above their heads in a makeshift tent, leaning close to be heard over the howling crescendo of the wind. ³Glad you¹re back! This one¹s supposed to be a beaut! There¹s gale wind warnings for small craft all up and down the coast. I sure wish the weather boys had let us know about this before I let all the boats out this morning! Most everybody is in now though.²

Adrienne ran with him toward the protection of the office building, glancing automatically up the parking lot. Like every day, the Jaguar was there.

³Is Tanner back?²

He didn¹t answer until they were inside out of the wind. ³No,² he replied, shaking the rain from his hair. ³And I haven¹t heard from her either. She probably put in at one of the other marinas.²

Adrienne tried to ignore the sudden twist of fear. Tanner was fine ¯ of course she was!

He saw the anxiety Adrienne couldn't hide, and added hastily, ³I¹ll put out a call.²

Adrienne nodded, walking to the small window and peering out at the solid sheet of rain obscuring the boats moored not twenty yards away. She wondered if she could have kept a sailboat afloat in this weather. She waited as Josh went into the small adjoining room where he kept his short-wave radio. He returned shortly and placed the small set on the desk in the main office.

³Did you raise her?² Adrienne asked anxiously.

³Nope‹but that doesn¹t mean anything in this weather. She could be out there in the harbor, and she might not hear us.²

Adrienne stayed at the window, trying to see through the rain. ³I¹m sure you¹re right. How big is her boat, by the way?²

³Forty footer. Beautiful craft. She built it mostly herself‹calls it Whitley¹s Pride.²

Adrienne smiled to herself at that. ³It¹s kind of big for one person to handle, isn¹t it?²

³Yep. It would be for most people. But then Tanner¹s not most people. She¹s a good sailor; she¹ll be all right.² He noticed for the first time that Adrienne was shivering from the cold. He said quickly, ³How about some coffee?²

Adrienne was about to refuse, and then decided it sounded like a good idea. It might be a long evening. She certainly had no desire to drive in the fierce storm, and she admitted to herself that if she made it home, she would just sit and worry about Tanner. She thought back to the first morning she had run across her on the beach, hung-over, and charming in spite of it. Tanner was reckless and wild and dangerous, especially the latter. Adrienne found it frightening and infuriating at the same time.

Lord ¯ why can't she stay out of trouble? And why can't I stop worrying about her?

The winds continued with the same swirling force, rocking the sailboats at their moorings and pounding the windows of the small office. Josh sat at his cluttered desk and sipped his coffee, the short wave radio a scratchy backdrop to their silence. He did not question Adrienne¹s staying, and she did not offer any explanation.

She would stay, had to stay, until Tanner came safely into port. She didn't question herself too closely as to why. She sighed with a sense of helpless frustration and looked over at Josh, who regarded her calmly. There was something about his solid presence that she found strangely reassuring. He seemed as indestructible as the rocky shoreline of his native coast.

³What was Tanner¹s father like?² she asked suddenly.

He sat quietly for a moment, thinking about her question. It was hard to describe a man like Charles Whitley. Where did you begin? ³He was big‹about six four, with dark hair and eyes. I imagine the ladies found him handsome - movie-star looks. He was very generous with his money, but he expected a lot from people. He expected everyone to be as determined and certain as he was. He was often disappointed.²

³Is Tanner really like him?²

"Spitting image."

Adrienne smiled. Tanner was movie-star handsome too. She quickly pushed that thought away. "How so?"

He smiled. ³In a lot of ways. She¹s got his fire ¯ never does anything half way. Stubborn, a little bit of a risk-taker.² He frowned, not used to putting his thoughts into words. ³I think she¹d be a lot less angry at everything if her father were still alive. I don¹t think she¹s ever quite forgiven him for going out by himself and getting drowned. She hasn't been right since the day he died.²

Adrienne remembered the deep sorrow in Tanner's eyes. ³Were they close?² she questioned softly.

Josh laughed. ³That¹s a mild word for it. He thought the sun rose and set on that girl. He had her down here on the boats before she could walk. She could sail better than most men by the time she was ten. Mrs. Whitley would go out with them for little cruises, you know, but most of the time it was just the two of them. The day he died Tanner wasn't with him. It was late in the season, and she was getting ready to go back to school. One of those fancy places girls go to in Boston. It was a bad looking day from the start, but he insisted. When he didn¹t come in by dark, Tanner came searching for him. I almost had to tie her down to keep her from going out in the launch to look for him. She wouldn¹t go home, just sat here listening to the Coast Guard station. They never did find the boat. A storm had come up in the late afternoon, and he must have gotten caught pretty far out. It¹s hard to figure, with him being so experienced. Guess he must have been careless. Tanner kept insisting that if he had waited for her it never would have happened.² He sighed and shrugged his shoulders. ³She got pretty wild after he died. She was only a teenager, but she refused to go back to school. Said she didn¹t want to leave Whitley Point. She finished high school on the mainland with all the island kids. She went away to college because her mother insisted, but it didn¹t last too long. She got into some kind of trouble. Never has seemed to be able to settle down.²

Adrienne leaned against the window frame, listening to him talk in his slow drawl, her mind conjuring up images of what Tanner must have been like as a teenager. God, she must have been so unhappy!

 They were both startled as the radio crackled to life. ³Whitley Harbor‹this is THW four four hundred‹come in Whitley Harbor.²

Josh jumped for the receiver. ³Go ahead THW‹this is Whitley Harbor‹over.²

They waited tensely while static filled the air. He flipped the knob on the set impatiently several times and then spoke again into the microphone. ³Whitley Harbor calling THW four four hundred, come in please.²

The set crackled again, and then Adrienne heard Tanner¹s voice. ³I¹m Šin .. one half miles...lost Š sail. Š Taking on..water...² Her voice faded out, to be replaced by the same monotonous static.

³Damn!² Josh swore. ³I¹ll call the Coast Guard and give them her range. This harbor is hard enough to maneuver in the best of times. If she's got one sail down, even with the engines it's gonna be near impossible.²

Adrienne watched him while he made the calls, her fear escalating. Tanner had come this far, surely she could navigate into the harbor. But with one sail down and in this wind?

³Mr. Thomas,² she asked quietly, ³do you have something alcoholic?²

³How about whiskey?²

³Sounds lovely.²

The radio sounded the harbor¹s call letters, and the Coast Guard came through with a message. ³Whitley Harbor, we have a small craft taking water rapidly, due east of Whitley Island, range one mile. Rescue procedures under way. Will advise, over.²

Josh acknowledged their message and stared glumly at Adrienne. He poured them both a stiff drink.

Adrienne swirled the little blocks of ice aimlessly in the dark amber liquid as she continued to watch the harbor. She thought about Tanner, and her father's tragic death, and felt for the first time that she understood a little of what hidden sorrows drove her. She could not have explained what it was about the troubled younger woman that called to her so deeply, but she was having a hard time denying it.

She was so lost in reflection that she didn¹t appreciate the dim but persistent flickering across the water for some moments. Finally she realized that the steady glow was from the lights on a craft.

³Josh!² she shouted, ³there are lights out there!²

³Where?² he cried, crowding next to her at the tiny window. He rubbed at the condensation with his large callused hand. "Where?"

³There, off to the left.²

³That must be her!² he shouted. ³She¹s dead center in the middle of the channel. She handles that boat like a lover, she does!² He saw Adrienne flush and added hastily, ³Beg your pardon, ma¹am. Just an expression.²

³I¹m sure you¹re right, Mr. Thomas,² Adrienne responded quietly. ³I¹m sure she does.²

Whitley's Pride came into view finally, maneuvering sluggishly with just the mainsail up, and that badly tattered from the beating it had taken in the fierce winds. As the boat approached the pier, both Josh and Adrienne ran out, mindless of the steady downpour that drenched them instantly. Tanner was clinging to the wheel, her clothes plastered to her, looking exhausted and ready to collapse.

 Josh leaned out over the water with a boat hook and snagged the towlines, guiding the boat up to the pier. As soon as it glided in close enough, Adrienne climbed aboard and rushed to the cockpit. Tanner had tied herself to the wheel with a length of nylon rope to avoid being washed overboard in the gale. She was dazed, gasping for breath, and sagging within the confines of the makeshift restraints. Adrienne bent to untie the ropes that tethered Tanner¹s body to the craft.

³Are you hurt?² she cried anxiously.

Tanner shrugged, her expression blank. She tried to speak, but her strength finally deserted her. Released from her supports, she slumped and would have fallen if Adrienne hadn¹t made a quick grab for her.

Adrienne eased Tanner down beside her on the deck and tried to shelter her from the wind and icy rain. She slipped an arm around Tanner¹s shoulders and pulled her close against her own body. Tanner shivered uncontrollably. Adrienne pushed the wet hair off Tanner¹s face, aware for the first time how cold Tanner¹s skin seemed under her fingers. Of course! She had been exposed on the deck for hours in the freezing rain in only a light shirt and jeans. She was hypothermic, dangerously cold ‹Adrienne had seen enough severe exposure cases in the Navy to recognize it.

³Josh,² she shouted, ³never mind the boat! We have to get her inside, where it's warm. Can you help me carry her?²

He was beside her in a moment, and between them they half-dragged, half-carried Tanner to the shelter of the marina.

³There¹s a little room in the back where I keep a cot and a kerosene heater for the winter,² Josh said, leading the way. They stretched Tanner out on the faded green wool blanket. She muttered in protest and tried ineffectually to push them away.

"Let me sleep," she demanded weakly.

 ³Light the stove, and bring the rest of the coffee ¯ and the whiskey,² Adrienne said tersely, ignoring Tanner's plea. She was already busy pulling off Tanner¹s deck shoes. She reached for another blanket from the foot of the cot and threw it over Tanner's shivering form. Lifting enough of the cover to maneuver, Adrienne stripped the wet jeans off Tanner's legs, noting absently that that was all she had been wearing. The shirt proved to be more of a problem. The material clung insistently to Tanner¹s body, and Adrienne had to struggle to free Tanner¹s muscular arms. When she finally succeeded, she actually looked at Tanner for the first time.

Tanner's eyes were closed now, and she looked terribly vulnerable in her nakedness. Adrienne drew in her breath sharply, unprepared for what she saw as Tanner's body came into sharp focus. Her breasts were full and firm, falling in gentle curves toward her sides. The nipples were a deep honey gold. She was well-muscled, tanned and toned.

Adrienne could sense her strength, and remembered the tenderness in her touch. Her eyes traveled down the flat planes of Tanner¹s stomach to the slight swell of her hips hidden by the coarse material of the blanket. Adrienne wasn't thinking at all, but stood mesmerized for a brief moment by the simple beauty before her.  She was jolted abruptly from her reverie by a soft cough and the sound of movement behind her.

She drew the blanket up to cover Tanner¹s nakedness and turned to face Josh Thomas. She looked him directly in the eyes, and he returned her gaze evenly.

³Here¹s that whiskey, and I'll have coffee in a minute. Should I try to get an ambulance out here? It¹ll be hard on a night like this.²

³Call them and see,² Adrienne replied distractedly, her concern for Tanner paramount now. ³I'll work on getting her warmed up. Thank god she¹s young and healthy.²

She cradled Tanner¹s head in her lap and brought the glass of whiskey to her lips. Tanner tried to pull away, but Adrienne managed to get a few drops past her pale lips. Tanner sputtered and coughed, protesting feebly, but Adrienne¹s grip was firm. Just wake up enough to drink some coffee!

Josh came in with a mug of coffee. He stood patiently holding it while Adrienne tried to arouse Tanner enough to drink it. Tanner continued to shiver, her face ghostly white, a faint tinge of blue to her lips and fingers. "She's pretty well¯frozen," Josh said worriedly. "The nearest emergency service is on the mainland, and I haven't been able to rouse 'em yet."

Adrienne laid Tanner's head down softly, and kicked off her own shoes. She tossed the light windbreaker she had been wearing aside and lifted the blanket. Settling on the cot with her back propped against the wall, she pulled Tanner into her arms. "Put the coffee beside me," she directed. With her arms encircling Tanner's shoulders, she pressed the length of her body against every part of Tanner's she could reach. Instinctively, Tanner curled around her, pressing one leg between Adrienne's, burrowing her face between Adrienne's breasts.

Josh moved the small kerosene heater closer, then retreated to the doorway. He wasn't sure why, but it felt like he should leave them alone. "I'll be in the next room ¯ if I hear from the EMTs, I'll let you know. Call me if you need anything."

Adrienne didn't answer. She rested her chin against the top of Tanner's head, rocking her gently, willing her to wake up. She hadn't touched another person intimately in almost a year, and hadn't really expected to again. Odd ¯ how it should have felt strange, but it didn't. Tanner fit naturally into the curves of her body, as if she had been lying with her for years.

After a while, Tanner began to stir restlessly, mumbling, opening her eyes to peer at Adrienne in confusion. Adrienne immediately began offering her sips of the coffee, hoping to both warm her and stimulate blood flow with the caffeine.

³Come on,² Adrienne insisted, ³just a little more. That¹s it.² She coaxed and pleaded and ordered Tanner to accept the hot liquid, murmuring encouragement to her as she stroked Tanner¹s damp face. Finally, Tanner grasped her arm weakly and pushed at the hand that held the cup.

³Please,² Tanner gasped, ³give me a minute. Josh's coffee might kill me before the cold does.²

Adrienne laughed and hugged Tanner tightly. ³Are you really awake?² Adrienne whispered after a few moments of watching Tanner¹s breathing becoming more regular and the color return to her face.

Tanner opened her eyes, finally able to focus, and regarded Adrienne solemnly. ³I am‹I think. Or this could just be a very nice dream.²

Adrienne couldn't look away from those dark, captivating eyes. For a minute there, it had feel like a dream. She hadn't been alone.

Suddenly, a visceral memory of Tanner's lips on her own churned through her belly. She remembered the heat, and the tender almost shy stroke of Tanner's tongue over her own.  A rush of arousal, completely unexpected, pulsed through her. She hadn't meant this to happen - hadn't wanted it to happen. She had only meant to help heal her. 

Adrienne shifted abruptly on the narrow cot, slipping out from behind Tanner's nude body. She sat on the edge of the cot, staring at the floor, forcing her breathing to quiet. When she was certain her voice was steady, she replied, "It¹s not a dream, something more like a nightmare. You had a pretty close call today, but I¹m sure you¹ll be fine after a couple of days¹ rest. When you¹re feeling a little better, I¹ll drive you home.²

 ³Can¹t we just stay here?² Tanner struggled to keep her eyes open and sighed, pressing close against Adrienne's back. It felt so good when you held me. So safe.

³No, we can¹t. You need a hot shower and a good night¹s sleep. Neither of which you can get here.² Adrienne's fear and confusion were being replaced by anger. Goddamn her for being so careless! And Goddamn me for caring!!

Adrienne stood, breaking the contact that was rapidly becoming uncomfortable. "I'll bring my car down. It won't help for you to get soaked again. Can you get dressed?"

Tanner nodded, too exhausted to protest. She struggled into the dry shirt and pants Josh offered her from his locker, and obediently followed Adrienne to her car. She slept on the short ride home, and when Adrienne pulled up in front of Whitley Manor, she had to shake Tanner to awaken her. ³Tanner, wake up. You¹re home now‹it¹s time to leave.²

Tanner stirred slowly and gazed at Adrienne, a mixture of fatigue and need in her face. ³Will you stay with me?² she asked softly. "Please."

Adrienne shook her head. ³No. But I¹ll call you tomorrow, okay?² She assured herself that was just a simple kindness. Anyone would do the same.

Tanner nodded and got out of the car without further protest. Adrienne watched her as Tanner made her way slowly around the side of the house to the path leading down to her bungalow. She hated to see her go, and didn't want to think what that meant. She only knew she couldn't get any closer to the lonely young woman and her secret pain.  It was better to keep things uncomplicated, for both their sakes.

Chapter Seven

Adrienne slept poorly that night and woke before the sun was fully up. She busied herself around the house and fought off the urge to call Tanner. She'll be fine. She doesn't need you to worry over her. And you don't need something else to worry about either.

 She went for a run, plagued the entire time by thoughts of Tanner. Finally, at nine o¹clock she gave in to her persistent concern and called Whitley Manor. The phone was answered on the second ring.

³Whitley residence‹may I help you?²

³This is Adrienne Pierce,² she said. ³Is Tanner awake yet?²

³Miss Whitley is not in right now. May I take a message for her?²

³Not in?² Adrienne exclaimed, unable to hide the alarm in her voice. ³Is she all right?² She could hear muffled voices in the background, and then Constance Whitley took the phone.

³Ms. Pierce? This is Constance Whitley. Tanner left quite early this morning. I¹m afraid she didn¹t leave word as to where she was going. She rarely does. Can I help you with anything?²

Adrienne sighed with relief. ³No, thank you. I was just worried after last night that she might be ill.²

³Last night? I don¹t understand.²

Of course! Tanner probably doesn¹t make it a habit of informing her mother of her misadventures She recovered quickly, and continued smoothly. ³I gave her a ride home last night, and she was soaking wet from the storm. I was worried she might come down with something.²

Constance laughed. ³Well, I shouldn¹t worry, Adrienne. Tanner is rarely ill. I¹ll tell her that you called.²

³Thanks,² Adrienne said as she replaced the receiver. She stood with her hand on the phone for a few moments, wondering in exasperation why she even cared where Tanner was. If Tanner didn¹t have enough sense to take care of herself, it certainly wasn¹t Adrienne¹s problem. She turned resolutely away, determined to forget the whole thing. She found to her supreme irritation, however, that her thoughts kept returning to the events of the previous evening. It frightened her when she realized that Tanner might not have returned at all. She decided that if she was going to keep wondering about her, she might as well check the marina. If nothing else, she could at least go sailing to occupy her mind.

The sky was unusually clear after the heavy storm, and it promised to be a beautiful day. Adrienne's spirits lifted as she neared the bay. She parked and walked down the pier. In the daylight it was easy to pick out Tanner¹s boat. It was a beautiful craft, with a polished teak wood hull and maroon deck. The winches were all brass, and the cockpit had been centralized so that one person could handle all three sails. She could see several torn sheets and the remnants of the tattered jib, reminders of the previous night¹s perilous journey. As she walked out onto the dock, admiring the fine workmanship, she heard whistling from below deck.

³Hello there,² she called. ³Tanner?²

Tanner¹s head appeared through the cabin hatch, and she grinned sheepishly at Adrienne. She looked pale and drawn, dark circles under her eyes, but her voice was cheerful. ³Hi! Come aboard!²

Adrienne hesitated for a second and then climbed up to the deck.

Tanner climbed up from below to join her. ³She¹s a little worse for the wear, but no serious damage. I was just about to replace the jib.²

³How are you?² Adrienne asked dryly.

Tanner blushed. ³A little worse for the wear, but almost sea worthy. Thanks for looking after me last night,² she said, her eyes serious.

Adrienne shifted her gaze away from those intently searching dark brown eyes. ³You¹re welcome,² she responded softly. She changed the subject quickly. ³Your boat is beautiful.²

Tanner smiled with obvious pride and grabbed Adrienne¹s hand impulsively, drawing her down into the cockpit. ³Let me show you how she¹s outfitted.²

Tanner took her on a tour of the boat, pointing out little modifications she had made that allowed her to handle it easily by herself. Adrienne was surprised to see that the cabin was completely stocked with food and wine, as well as a variety of books and CDs. The stereo system was elaborate, with speakers in both the fore and aft sleeping areas. She turned to Tanner, impressed. ³It¹s wonderful. All the comforts of home.²

³It almost is home to me,² Tanner responded. ³I can sail anywhere and just drop anchor and stay there, if I want to.²

³It must have taken you a long time to get it into this kind of shape,² Adrienne commented.

Tanner¹s face clouded for an instant, and then she shrugged. ³I bought her just before my last year of high school, and I¹ve been working on her ever since. It¹s probably the only thing I¹ve really accomplished since then.²

Adrienne didn¹t know what to say, so she made a suggestion instead. ³Listen, how about if I give you a hand refitting the jib.²

³Sure,² Tanner responded, her grin returning. ³But only if you promise to come for a sail with me.²

³No,² Adrienne said quickly.

³Why not?²

Adrienne regarded her for a moment, and then laughed. Suddenly she very much wanted to be out on this sailboat, in the sun, in the wind, away from her worries and her fears. ³I don¹t know. Why not? I¹d actually love to go out on her.²

Tanner grabbed her hand again and pulled her toward the ladder. ³Come on, then. Let¹s get to work.²

They worked easily together, pulling down the torn sail and restringing the new one. They didn¹t talk much, but Adrienne found the silence comfortable. It had gotten quite warm, and both she and Tanner were sweating. The physical exertion felt good. When they finished, she stepped back and surveyed their work with a feeling of accomplishment. She realized that she had missed that feeling. Missed life having some meaning beyond mere existence.

 ³Ready?² Tanner asked. When Adrienne nodded, Tanner asked, ³Do you think you can handle the sails while I take her out of the harbor?²

³I think so.²

Adrienne quickly got used to the rigging and winches as Tanner maneuvered them efficiently out of the crowded harbor toward the open sea. Adrienne found Tanner to be a decisive and neat sailor, wasting none of the wind and setting their sails to full advantage. They barely spoke as the craft moved swiftly out into the ocean, cutting a clean line parallel to the coast. Tanner led them into a secluded cove near one of the many islands that dotted the waters, and they dropped anchor.

³Why don¹t you relax for a while,² Tanner called as she headed below deck. ³I¹ll be right back.²

Adrienne made herself comfortable on the forward deck, and Tanner returned shortly with a tray of fruit and cheese and a bottle of chilled white wine.

³Brunch, anyone?² she called as she spread out a tablecloth and weighted it down with plates and two frosted glasses.

Adrienne smiled in appreciation. ³Great idea,² she said. She accepted the wine gratefully and stretched her long legs out in the sun. She sighed and surveyed the boat. ³She sails wonderfully.²

Tanner nodded. ³I know. You¹re pretty good yourself. This afternoon you¹ll have to take the wheel.²

³I¹d love to,² Adrienne answered instantly. ³It¹s been a long time since I¹ve sailed anything this big.²

³You can handle her. Do you have your own boat?²

³Uh huh,² Adrienne replied as she helped herself to some fruit. ³A thirty-eight footer. Just right for long weekends. I used to spend as much time out on her as I could.²

Tanner regarded her thoughtfully. ³What did you do‹in the Navy?²

³I was, am, a civil engineer. I went to college on the ROTC plan and went active as soon as I graduated.²

³Did you like it?²

³Engineering or the Navy?²

³Both.²

³I enjoyed the work, and I like the organization of the Navy. It was very secure‹at least professionally. It offered a lot of opportunity, despite its restrictions. And, of course, as an officer, I had a great deal of freedom. We lived in a house off base, right near the bay. I worked a pretty steady forty-hour week. It suited me.² She finished self-consciously, realizing that she had said more than she had meant to. She had been so relaxed that she hadn¹t given it a second thought.

³Was it a problem, being a lesbian?² Tanner asked.

Adrienne laughed. ³Being a lesbian? Or being a lesbian in the Navy?²

Tanner grinned back at her. ³You know what I mean. Were you paranoid about it?²

³Sometimes. I led my own private life, and no one seemed to care. There were other gays, of course, both men and women. We were discreet, we had to be.²

Tanner poured them some more wine and munched a cracker thoughtfully. ³Sounds like a pretty good life in some ways.²

³There's a lot that needs improving, but I knew that going in. ²

³So‹² Tanner began.

Adrienne laughed good-naturedly. ³Must you always ask so many questions?²

³Can¹t help it,² Tanner replied. ³I love details.²

³I¹ve noticed.² Adrienne commented dryly. "And what about you? What do you do when you're not sailing?"

Tanner shrugged. "I pretend to help run the Whitley Corporation."

"Pretend?"

"I go into the headquarters now and then, but it's not serious. My father left my mother in charge."

Adrienne looked at her closely, remembering Josh's story about Charles Whitley's death. "I'm sorry about your father."

Tanner stared at her, then down at her hands. It wasn't something she talked about. Ever. When she looked back at Adrienne, she found only compassion.  And then the words came.

"We fought ¯ the day he died. We were supposed to go out to together, but he didn't wait."

Adrienne saw her hands tremble.  "What happened?" she asked quietly, knowing there was something.

Tanner stood, walked to the rail, looked out over the endless sea, recalling the scene vividly. Her voice was low, and she spoke quietly, as if recounting a dream. "He asked me why I had broken up with Todd. He reminded me how close our families were, and how much he liked 'the boy'." She laughed humorlessly. "I informed him I wasn't interested in Todd or any other guy."

She shrugged, looked at Adrienne with wounded eyes. "He hit me. I told him to go to hell." She drew a shaky breath. "That was the only time he ever struck me. As soon as he did it, he looked like he might cry. And then he was gone ¯ out on the boat, and he never noticed the storm --"

Oh god ¯ she must feel so guilty.  "Tanner‹" Adrienne began.

"No need to say anything. It was more than ten years ago. I'm over it now," Tanner said abruptly, moving to gather the remains of their lunch.

Adrienne watched her in helpless silence. She of all people knew there were some hurts words could not heal.

Chapter Eight

They finished the wine, each still lost in memories, while the sun rose high in the sky. Adrienne was caught off guard when Tanner sat up suddenly and stripped off her tee shirt. For a moment, Adrienne was captivated. Sunlight bathed Tanner¹s tanned shoulders and pale firm breasts in a golden glow, highlighting her strong, yet feminine form.

Oh, god. She¹s so lovely! Desire struck out of nowhere, and she looked hastily away.

³What do you think you¹re doing?² Adrienne asked harshly.

Tanner stood up and pushed her shorts down. ³I¹m going swimming. Come on‹it¹ll wake you up.²

Adrienne realized that her heart was pounding as she tried to avoid looking at Tanner¹s nakedness. Unbidden, images of Tanner lying on the cot the previous evening kaleidoscoped through her mind. She swallowed hard and managed to say evenly, ³You go ahead. I¹ll stand guard.²

³There¹s no one here,² Tanner protested playfully. She reached down and attempted to pull Adrienne to her feet. ³Come on‹it¹ll be wonderful!²

Adrienne jerked her arm away. ³No!²

Tanner failed to appreciate the note of panic in Adrienne¹s voice. She was a little high from the wine,  and wanted only to put the past out of mind. She grabbed for Adrienne again, determined now to get her into the water. ³I¹ll just have to throw you in then,² she cried as she innocently grabbed Adrienne¹s shirt and tugged it out of her pants. She was caught totally off guard when Adrienne slapped her, hard, across the face. Tanner rocked back on her heels and looked at Adrienne in amaze­ment. A red welt rose on her left cheek, but it wasn't the blow that stung.

³Jesus, Adrienne! What do you think I am? I wasn¹t going to rape you,² she said in a stunned voice.

Adrienne stared at her for a second, then turned and rushed to the rear of the boat. All she wanted to do was to get away. She grasped the rail in both hands, trembling, and fought for composure.

A few minutes later, Tanner, fully dressed again, came to stand beside Adrienne. ³I¹m sorry,² Tanner began, not sure exactly why she was apologizing. "I didn't mean to upset you ¯ Damn! I was just so ¯ happy ¯ that you were here."

Adrienne turned to her, a trace of tears still on her face. She looked miserable, and that was harder for Tanner than the slap had been. Adrienne's distress made her forget her own indignation. She caught her breath and touched Adrienne¹s face lightly, brushing a tear away with her thumb. ³Will you please tell me what I did?² She wanted desperately to understand.

Adrienne replied in a choked voice, ³I don¹t know if I can.²

³Can we try? Please,² Tanner pleaded gently.

Adrienne shrugged, almost in defeat, and walked slowly back to the fore of the boat where she sat down, her arms wrapped protectively around her bent knees. Tanner sat as close to her as she dared and waited quietly. Adrienne stared past her, her thoughts drifting with the waves. There were so many things she might say, or should say, and yet she couldn¹t find the words. She had never been able, in all of the last lonely and terrifying months, to express her feelings about any of it. How could she possibly explain it to Tanner, someone she barely knew? Yet for some strange reason, she wanted to try. She wanted to tell her things that she had never told anyone, not even Alicia or Tom. She wasn¹t sure why, it just seemed important. She met the dark eyes that had never left her face. They seemed very calm, and surprisingly comforting.

³Tanner,² she began, keeping her eyes level with Tanner¹s, ³I have‹I had‹cancer. I don¹t know why I didn¹t tell you before.²

Tanner continued to look into Adrienne¹s face, searching for understanding. ³What does that mean exactly?² she said at last, her voice tight but steady. She was frightened by the thought of any harm coming to this woman. ³I mean, I know what it means, but what does it mean for you?²

Adrienne smiled a little. How refreshing not to be met with pointless platitudes. And how typical of Tanner to barge right in.

She shrugged.  ³That¹s a good question. I wish I knew the answer. No one has ever asked me before. Everyone usually thinks they know precisely what it means. For me, it meant having my right breast removed. And then six months of chemotherapy that made me feel like hell. Luckily my hair didn¹t fall out, and I only threw up for the first few days every month, but I felt like I didn¹t have enough strength to get through the day. I tried to work, but it was difficult for me to put in a full eight hours."

She paused for breath, thinking of those hectic first few months ¯ wanting to continue her life as if everything were the same ¯ when nothing was the same! She pushed both hands through her hair and looked at Tanner ruefully. "Everyone around me treated me as if I might shatter at any moment. I couldn¹t stand their kindness. I just wanted them to treat me as if I was normal. But I didn¹t really feel normal‹I felt betrayed. Betrayed by something inside myself. Finally, I just stopped trying to go on as if everything were still the same. I took a medical leave ¯ and I guess you know the rest.²

She stopped suddenly, aware that her words had been pouring out as if a dam had burst inside of her. She was surprised to find that Tanner was still regarding her intently, her face very serious. Most people were uncomfortable with the subject, and often couldn¹t meet her eyes. "I'm sorry. You didn't bargain for all of that."

Tanner ignored the remark. ³Is it gone now?² she asked, her tone soft and gentle.

Adrienne shrugged bitterly, confronting the issue that plagued her every day. ³I don¹t know. I know the statistics ¯ but I don't know what they mean for me. They gave me plenty of figures ¯ two years, five years, ten. No guaran­tees, just odds.²

³How long has it been?²

³A year.²

³And?²

³So far, so good, I think. I¹m due for a checkup soon. Every six months I have a chest X-ray, and a bone scan, and some blood tests. And a mam­mogram on the other side, of course.²

³Is that why you left the Navy?²

³Partly. I'm actually still on extended leave. I¹ll have to make a decision about that soon.²

³What about your lover?² Tanner asked quietly. She saw the look of pain that flashed across Adrienne¹s face, but she persisted. ³Why aren¹t you together now?²

Adrienne shook her head in resignation. ³She was wonderful, at first. She came with me for the biopsy, and to the surgeons for the second opinion. She was there when I woke up after the mastectomy. It was only after I came home, after the worst of it seemed to be over, that she began to change.² Adrienne stopped, swallowing hard. She wasn¹t sure she could face those feelings again. She thought she could live with the fear of her cancer, but it was so damned hard to live with everything else!

³And then what happened?² Tanner urged gently. She wanted desperately for Adrienne to keep talking, to let her close.

³She was afraid, I think. Afraid that I might die, afraid that everything we knew, everything we had planned, might disappear. I don¹t think she could deal with the not knowing.²

Tanner thought she could understand that. But there must be something else. ³Why did you leave? Didn¹t you love her anymore?²

³Yes‹I loved her. But I couldn¹t live with her. She walked around me in the house as if I weren¹t even there. She seemed to be afraid to be close to me. AndŠand I knew that she couldn¹t deal with the way I looked.²

Tanner winced at that, but she kept her voice calm. ³Did she say that?²

³She didn¹t have to!² Adrienne snapped, her blue eyes suddenly cold. ³She couldn¹t bring herself to come near me. Not just in bed, but anywhere. She would find some reason to disappear any time I wasn¹t covered.² Adrienne laughed without humor. ³It made it hell trying to get showered in the morning. She pretended she just wanted to give me time to recover, to get my strength back; but I knew the real reason. She couldn¹t stand to look at me. So, finally, I left. I went home to Philadelphia for a while, until my family almost drove me mad. They acted like I might fall over at any second! And that brings me at last to Whitley Point‹the island hide away. You were so right, that first morning on the beach. I¹m hiding here, all right, from everything I ever knew. And especially myself.²

³I¹m so sorry,² Tanner whispered. She felt so inadequate it was like physical pain. She wanted somehow to ease Adrienne¹s sorrow‹to erase the rejection and fear she must feel. She had no idea how to even begin. Were there any words at all that could reach that terrible sorrow?

Adrienne stood up suddenly. ³Why? It has nothing to do with you. I¹m sorry that I slapped you. You had no way of knowing. I really just don¹t like to be touched. It¹s really very simple, Tanner. I have no future, and only the barest glimmer of a present. I¹m just here for the summer. Think of me like any another tourist, escaping for a few months on your fairy tale island. When summer ends, I'll be gone. It will make it easier for us both.²

She turned resolutely away, making it clear their conversation was over.

Chapter Nine

They didn't talk at all on the way back to port. Adrienne handled the wheel with expert efficiency while Tanner silently set the sails for a fast run. Adrienne left hurriedly after a polite but distant good-bye, saying she was tired and wanted to get home before dark.

Tanner watched her all the way up the pier and continued to stare after her until she saw the car pull away. She was left with an empty feeling of some­thing only half-completed. She and Adrienne should have talked more, but she had been afraid to try. Adrienne had closed her out, her self-imposed isolation complete.

 Tanner stowed the lines and secured the deck automatically, all the while thinking of things she should have said to Adrienne when she had the chance. Now she wasn¹t sure if she would get the opportunity again. She sighed in exasperation and headed for her car. Exhausted though she was after only a few hours sleep the night before, coupled with the emotional turmoil of her day with Adrienne, she didn¹t look forward to an evening at home. She wasn¹t sure she wanted to be alone with her thoughts. The memories of her unresolved past and Adrienne's painful present were not something she wanted to confront. She turned right and headed south toward the mainland.

~

Constance awakened sometime after midnight to the sound of a car pulling up in the drive. She was a very light sleeper, and on warm nights such as this one, she slept with her windows open. She lay listening to the familiar steps make their way around the side of the house to the lower walkway. She was surprised when she heard someone slowly climbing the outside stairs to the verandah. She reached for her robe and went outside. Tanner was sagged into a deck chair, her feet propped up on the rail. Constance could tell that she had been drinking. She sat down next to her daughter and looked ahead into the night. It had been a long time since Tanner had come here this late at night, and she recognized it as a sign that Tanner needed company, or that she wanted to talk. Constance was an undemanding comfort, offering her unconditional love, and occasionally her guidance, whenever Tanner could bring herself to ask for it. Tanner ran her hand distractedly through her windblown hair and sighed audibly.

³Mother,² she asked quietly, as if they had been sitting in deep conversation for hours, ³if you had known that Father would die when he did, would it have made any difference to you?²

Constance forced herself to consider the question honestly. She was so amazed by it that she wasn¹t sure she would be able to answer. Tanner almost never mentioned her father, and she never talked about his death. Constance replied softly, ³What do you mean by 'a difference'?²

Tanner turned to her mother and asked pointedly, ³Would you still have married him?²

³Oh, my god, yes!² Constance exclaimed instantly. ³I would have married him if I thought we had only a month together!² She smiled slightly in the moonlight. ³I loved being with him ¯ and being married to him.  He was the one I wanted, and I wouldn¹t have traded that for anything.²

³Was it worth the pain of losing him?² Tanner persisted. She knew how desolate she had felt when he died ¯ and could barely imagine how much worse it must have been for her mother. She knew, too, how difficult these questions were, but she didn¹t care. She felt like she was drowning, and she had nowhere else to turn.

Constance took a deep breath and shuddered slightly. ³I still can¹t believe he¹s gone. After all these years I still find myself wanting him, wondering how I¹m going to survive without him. But I do. Strangely enough, I not only survive, I continue to take pleasure in life. It seems bittersweet at times, but it is pleasure nevertheless. Loving him was worth every bit of the pain of not being with him. And I can tell you something else‹it would have hurt every bit as deeply if we had lived together two years, or twenty, or two hundred.²

³So you have no regrets?²

Constance smiled again softly. How like Charles his daughter was. Tanner wouldn¹t leave anything alone until she examined it from every angle, and understood it in every detail. ³I didn¹t say that. If I had known we would not grow old together, I might have tried harder to share in his world‹the world of business, which I never cared for. And I think I would have told him more often that I loved him.²

Tanner stood up a little unsteadily and walked over to the rail, gazing down over the dunes to the surf. ³Mother,² she asked softly, ³why is it so terrifying to need someone?²

Constance wasn¹t sure to whom Tanner was referring. The wistful tone in her voice suggested she meant herself. Constance came up beside her and slipped her arm gently around Tanner¹s waist. ³When you find someone you really want to love, Tanner, you won¹t be afraid anymore.²

Constance didn¹t expect a reply, and could only watch helplessly as Tanner walked slowly down the path to her bungalow, disappearing into the darkness. Something had happened, something - or more likely someone, had awakened Tanner¹s passion at last. Constance only hoped it was someone who would have the courage to embrace her daughter¹s tumultuous soul.

~

Early the next morning Tanner returned to the marina, hoping to see Adrienne. She wanted to call her, but she feared the overture might only alienate Adrienne further.

³Josh,² she called as she entered the office. ³You in here?²

³Yep,² he replied, coming out from the rear room.

She waved and leaned against the window. ³Have you seen Adrienne today?²

³Nope. First day she¹s missed in a while,² he remarked. ³Might be she¹ll be down later.²

Tanner looked doubtful. ³Maybe. I¹ll just go on down and check the Pride. She took some water the other night, and I want to make sure she¹s tight now.²

³Good idea. I wasn¹t sure I¹d see either you or the Pride again.²

³Oh, come on, Josh! You know it takes more than a storm to beat me!²

He nodded sagely. ³I know. But some day you¹ll take one too many chances. Me and your lady friend were mighty worried the other night.²

Tanner stared at him. ³What do you mean?² she asked.

³Well, she came in just ahead of the storm in the late afternoon. As soon as she found out that you were still out she plunked herself down and wouldn¹t budge.²

Tanner had not even thought to ask why Adrienne had been there when she awoke. She had been too confused to think clearly. Why hadn't Adrienne said something to her yesterday? At this point she wouldn¹t have minded if Adrienne had been furious with her. Even anger would have been preferable to distant silence.

³She was here all that time?² she said. She waited for me?

Josh nodded. ³Sure was. Mighty fine looking woman.²

³Now, Josh,² Tanner laughed.

³I know, I know. I¹m too old for her. She seemed pretty fond of you, though.²

Tanner grimaced. ³I'm not feeling all that likeable these days.²

He laughed. ³I¹ve known you all your life. I can remember when you used to come down here with your daddy when you were just a little thing. I've always liked you.²

In the decade since her father died, Josh had become the closest thing she'd had to a friend. He was honest, and loyal, and completely without pretense. Most importantly, she trusted him. Tanner smiled, but shook her head. ³But I¹m not three anymore, Josh.²

Josh tapped his pipe out in the waste paper basket and studied her specula­tively. ³What¹s got you all out of sorts anyhow? Adrienne?²

Tanner looked away uncomfortably. ³Partly. I¹m not sure I know how to handle her.²

He leaned his chair back on its rear legs and thought about that. He shrugged and replied, ³Well then, don¹t.²

Tanner looked at him in surprise. ³What do you mean?²

³Don¹t try to handle her. Let her come around on her own. You can¹t force the wind.²

³But what if she never comes around?²

³She will,² Josh said matter-of-factly. He remembered the way Adrienne had held Tanner the night of the storm. ³Just give her a little time.²

³Time?² Tanner repeated, almost to herself. ³What if there isn¹t any time?²

Chapter Ten

June passed, and Adrienne did not go near the marina. She missed sailing, but she didn't want to see Tanner. She had briefly considered leaving the island altogether, but something kept her there. She told herself it was the seclusion, and the sea, and the promise of bright sun and cool summer nights. She couldn't sail, so she ran ¯ morning and night.

She hadn¹t run since her surgery. It felt good to use her body, and it helped to clear her mind as well. It was difficult not to think of Tanner. Adrienne wondered what her days were like, and how she spent her nights. She knew that Tanner must be hurt that she was avoiding her, but she couldn¹t see that she had much choice. Tanner was so intense, so determined, and so damned ¯ attractive. Any relationship between them was bound to become too intimate. As much as she fought the urge, Adrienne knew that if she spent much time with Tanner, she would eventually give in to the temptation to touch her. And she couldn't, under any circumstances, do that.

The sun had nearly set when Adrienne prepared for her run on the beach. She stretched her muscles leisurely on the deck, appreciating the cool breeze beginning to blow in from the water. It was a welcome relief from the sultry heat of the day. Adrienne anticipated a good run. She started out at an easy jog toward the lighthouse on the southern tip of Whitley Point. Suddenly the sky exploded into a burst of color. Faint echoes of thunder ¯ thunder? ¯ pulsed through the night. Adrienne stopped and stared in astonishment at the strange sight.

 Then, she laughed out loud. Of course! It was July fourth. She lived such solitary days that the ordinary events that marked the passage of time in more ordinary lives escaped her. She walked on toward the lighthouse, enjoying the display that continued over head. As she drew closer, she passed groups of children and adults reclining on blankets on the beach for the celebration. She also began to smell barbecue and her mouth watered. She realized that she was hungry. She got a hot dog and a beer at a makeshift refresh­ment stand and settled down on the sand amidst families who ate picnic suppers from coolers they had carried with them. She sat apart, but still somehow felt part of the festivities, watching the patterns of light and colors brighten the night sky. She heard a motorboat approaching and looked down to the shore, wondering idly where they would land.

³Damn fool¹s going to run aground at that rate,² a nearby man grumbled.

Adrienne and the people around her stared transfixed as the lights on the powerful outboard grew brighter, the cabin cruiser heading straight into shore. Just when it seemed inevitable that the boat would crash up onto the beach, the driver cut the engine and swung the bow around hard, bringing the boat to rest on the very edge of the sand. Adrienne let out her breath in long sigh. She heard a female voice laughing and several figures tumbled from the boat into the surf, then staggered up onto the beach.

³Figures,² the same man said in a low angry tone. ³She thinks she can get away with anything. And she usually does. Doesn¹t do badly with some women either.²

³Shh! Someone will hear you!² his wife chided, glancing around in embarrass­ment.

Adrienne recognized Tanner then, emerging none too steadily from the water with her arm around the waist of a pretty young blond. She watched them coldly as Tanner flopped down on the sand, gasping, and pulled her companion down beside her. Tanner said some­thing to her, and the other woman laughed. Several other partiers joined them, and someone passed a silver flask, its surface shining intermittently in the glow of the overhead spectacle.

The fireworks were nearly over, and Adrienne stood up, dusting the sand from her legs. She was irrationally angered by the spectacle Tanner was making of herself, and she didn¹t want to watch it any longer. Without conscious thought, instead of turning toward home, she walked directly down the beach to where Tanner lay in the sand, and stared down at her.

³Nice entrance,² Adrienne commented sarcastically.

Tanner squinted up at her, her eyes unfocused. ³Glad you liked it.² She held out a still burning joint. ³Smoke?²

³No thanks. Why don¹t you introduce me to your friends?²

Tanner pushed herself up on one elbow and made a sweeping gesture with her arm. ³Everyone, this is Commander‹no, my mistake‹ex-Commander Pierce. She is living incognito here at Whitley Point. But beware‹she is only here for the summer, so don¹t expect too much from her.²

Heads turned briefly as Tanner talked, and a few people nodded hello before returning to their conversations. Adrienne sat down beside Tanner, ignoring the blond who clung possessively to Tanner¹s arm.

³I want to talk to you,² Adrienne said in a low voice.

Tanner eyed her expansively. ³Fine. So talk.²

Adrienne shook her head. ³Alone.²

Tanner heaved herself to an upright position. ³I have company.²

It was all Adrienne could do to keep her voice calm. ³I can see that. I¹ll just be a minute.² She was furious, and she didn¹t want to consider precisely why. She let herself think it was Tanner¹s arrogance and insolent tone, but she was struggling not to reach out and shake her.

Something in Adrienne¹s voice penetrated the fog of Tanner¹s brain. Tanner turned to her companion. ³Would you mind, Sally? Please disappear for a minute.²

The pretty blond pouted for an instant, and then flounced away to join her friends.

³So?² Tanner asked, trying hard to sound alert. In reality she was so tired she thought she might pass out.

³What the hell do you think you¹re doing?² Adrienne hissed, her temper boiling. ³You could easily have killed someone with that stunt. Including you and your friends.²

³But I didn¹t, did I?² Tanner replied, swaying slightly. ³I was just having a little fun. I always know how far to go. Just lucky, I guess.²

Adrienne felt sick and disgusted and incredibly afraid. ³Tanner, for god¹s sake, you have to stop this. Look at yourself! You¹re a mess!²

Tanner ran a hand through her hair and pulled her wrinkled shirt into some kind of order. ³Am I? I meant to dress for the party.²

³Get up. You¹re coming with me.²

Tanner stared at her uncomprehendingly. ³I can¹t do that. I promised to take everyone for a midnight sail later.²

³Not tonight, you¹re not,² Adrienne said with determination. ³Say `good night¹ to your girlfriend.²

Tanner called good night in the young blonde's direction. Sally might have heard her, but she didn¹t reply. Adrienne reached down and pulled Tanner up by the arm. Tanner didn¹t protest, but she had trouble keeping up with Adrienne¹s brisk pace down the beach.

³Couldn¹t we just walk instead of flying?² she gasped at one point, stumbling slightly.

Adrienne looked at her in exasperation and slipped one arm around her waist. ³Come on,² she said as she tugged Tanner along. ³We¹re almost there.²

She managed to get Tanner up the back stairs and across the porch to a couch. She pushed her firmly down, saying as she turned away, ³You can sleep here. I¹ll get you some blankets.²

³But I¹m much too high to sleep,² Tanner protested.

³Bull!² Adrienne said. ³You look like you haven¹t slept in days.²

³I don¹t think I have. That¹s the whole point.²

³Christ! You¹re a bigger idiot than I thought,² Adrienne cursed, slamming the door on her way into the house. She needed to put a little distance between them. If she stayed she would say more than she meant to, and that was pointless considering the condition Tanner was in. She knew it was crazy to bring Tanner home with her, but she had been terribly afraid to leave her alone. Tanner was in no shape to look after herself, at least not that night.

What in god's name is wrong with her! She wasn't like this that day on the boat. She was kind, and gentle, and considerate.

  She pulled pillows and a light blanket from the top shelf of a closet, trying not to think of Tanner's face the moment after she had slapped her. The shock, and the hurt. Don't be ridiculous. That has nothing to do with this. And if it did, she couldn't change it. Whatever Tanner needed, it was beyond her power to provide. Adrienne sighed. At least Tanner would be safe for the night.

Tanner lay back on the cushions while waiting for Adrienne, her mind whirling but her body slowly surrendering to exhaustion. She realized for the first time in days how truly tired she was. It was late. She could see the moon beginning to wane beyond the trees. Her body ached all over, and her head was threatening to explode. She wondered vaguely how she had gotten into this condition. She had only sketchy recollections of the past few days.

It had actually started out as just a lark. She had been bored and restless for days. Time seemed to stretch into endless hours of meaningless activity. She sailed, paid token visits to the firm offices on business, sat out on the deck with her mother, and prowled the mainland bars at night looking for company. More often than not she returned home alone. It wasn't a stranger she wanted in her bed.

Her mother didn¹t encroach on her silence‹she wouldn¹t. And Tanner had not wanted to talk. What could she possibly tell her? That there was a woman who occupied her thoughts every waking moment, leaving only restless dreams and unfulfilled fantasies in her wake? That this woman was as unapproachable as a night creature on the shore? As soon as Tanner tried to draw near, no matter how gently, Adrienne withdrew into the shell of her silence.

Tanner was frustrated and angry. She had tried to be sensitive and undemand­ing ‹ she had tried to be patient. She was attracted to her, she admitted that. But she would have waited, as long as it took, for Adrienne to trust her. But Adrienne had not called.

Finally Tanner had accepted the invitation of some friends to celebrate the holiday weekend with them. She found herself unable to share in the carefree attitude of her friends, and she tried to capture that same feeling of free-spiritedness by returning to her old methods of escape. Even as she slipped further and further away from reality, she still could not stop thinking about Adrienne. Her frustration only grew more pointed.

Tanner shook her head, realizing that she was much too befuddled to make sense of any of it. She tugged at the buttons of her shirt in an ineffectual attempt to get it off. Failing that, she managed to get her jeans unzipped, but they ended up twisted around her knees. She gave up.

When Adrienne returned, she found Tanner lying in a tangle of wet clothes. ³It seems like I¹m always putting you to bed,² she muttered as she pulled Tanner¹s jeans off and tossed them aside.

Tanner made no protest as Adrienne pulled her upright to unbutton her shirt. As Adrienne slipped the garment down her arms, Tanner grasped Adrienne's shoulders and pulled her close. Her breasts, cool and still damp with sea water, pressed against the light cotton of Adrienne's tee shirt. Before Adrienne could push her away, Tanner kissed her.

Adrienne responded without thinking, allowing her body to do what her mind had been protesting for weeks. She kissed her back, her arms tightening around Tanner's muscular back.

Tanner moaned slightly as her tongue probed Adrienne¹s parted lips, thrusting her hands into the long hair at Adrienne¹s neck, holding her head as her lips roamed over Adrienne¹s face and neck. She was mindless of Adrienne¹s reluctant efforts to move away‹she only pressed closer, the rough fabric of Adrienne¹s shirt chafing her tender erect nipples. She wanted to lose herself, finally, in the warm shelter of Adrienne¹s mouth and the comfort of Adrienne's body upon her.

Adrienne managed to break the embrace and held Tanner away at arm¹s length. "Stop," Adrienne gasped, tearing here eyes away from Tanner's beautiful face, only to find she couldn't stop looking at her breasts, her strong arms, her flat tight abdomen.

Tanner shuddered, her dark eyes cloudy with need. ³Please,² she whispered, ³don¹t go away. I want you so much. I have ¯ for so long.²

God help me, I want you, too.

Adrienne groaned softly, defeated, and dropped her head against Tanner¹s neck. She caressed the soft smooth skin with her lips, tasting the heady mixture of sweat tinged with salt. With one hand she cupped Tanner¹s full breast, her thumb brushing the taut nipple, drawing a gasp from Tanner. Adrienne kissed her way slowly down the firm column of Tanner¹s neck to her chest. She stroked the full curves of Tanner¹s breast with her tongue, working teasingly toward her nipple, finally grasping it between her lips, sucking it into her mouth.  She closed her eyes, surrendering to the sweet sensations. She had wanted Tanner this way since that first kiss on the beach. She had longed to feel Tanner yield to her caresses, had ached to run her hands over that golden body. It was useless to deny it now, and she was long past the point of rational thought. She could not have stopped even if she had wanted to. And she most desperately did not want to.

Adrienne grasped both of Tanner¹s breasts in her hands, pressing her face to them with a deep groan, working both nipples around between her fingertips.

Tanner whimpered, and wrapped her legs around Adrienne's thigh. Adrienne felt Tanner¹s pulse pounding there, and her heat and her wet desire. She didn¹t think she could possibly feel Tanner enough, and she pressed her hips into her, hard, as her hands traveled up and down the muscular young body beneath her. She leaned up on one elbow and kissed her again, a deep demanding kiss. She explored the depths of Tanner¹s warm mouth, stroking rhythmically with her tongue.

Tanner¹s clutched Adrienne¹s buttocks, pulling her closer, rocking her hips erratically along Adrienne's thigh. Suddenly Tanner pulled her head back with a small cry of surprise, breaking their kiss. She stared at Adrienne in a haze of need and desire. ³I¹m going to come!² she whispered urgently. ³I can¹t stop it!²

³Not yet!² Adrienne cried, wrenching herself away from Tanner¹s shuddering body with effort.

Tanner moaned and tried to pull Adrienne down against her again. ³I can¹t! Please!²

³You can,² Adrienne soothed, running her tongue lightly down Tanner¹s neck to her breast again. ³You can. Just a little longer. I want so much more of you!²  Her tongue made lazy circles of fire on Tanner¹s abdomen as she shifted her own legs down onto the floor. She rested her head gently against Tanner¹s thigh and parted the damp hair between Tanner¹s legs with her fingers. Tanner cried out and thrust herself against Adrienne¹s hand, trying to rub her swollen clitoris against Adrienne¹s fingers. That motion finally broke Adrienne¹s control. She moaned, deep in her throat, and brought her lips down around Tanner¹s clitoris. Tanner sobbed incoherently as Adrienne stroked her lightly with her tongue.