By
Disclaimer....
The characters below are all mine, mine, mine and yes mine. They come from my warped imagination and I control their strings. If you'd like them to resemble a certain bard and warrior who am I to deny you your fantasies.
Warning...
I must now warn you that this story contains relationships between women. There are a few kisses and hugs and references to the loving act...
There is also brief mention of rape, it will not be graphic but be warned. So if you are under age or find the above distasteful please move on to something more suitable.
Acknowledgements...
The muse of creativity I again bow down to and offer my first born or a cookie, as for the muse of spelling and grammar I am still learning and beg her patience.
This is for all those who have made the wrong choice in life and a warning to those who are about to. Also for all the fans who have let me know how much my work has touched them and offered a way ahead for me. I cannot thank you all enough. J
With that said, let the show begin......
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
@
I wasn't really sure I was ever going to tell my story.....
But the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to. Not for some sense of self-glorification either, or even to try and explain my side of what happened, or even to change the opinions of lost friends who now think of me as the biggest bitch on earth. It was more a sense of just wanting the thoughts and words to come out of my head and stop me from going insane. Don't get me wrong this isn't going to be a ''come sit round the camp fire'' kinda tale, no not at all. It's a story where I had everything I wanted in my life and in one moment, misjudgment cost me my world. My name was changed from Kathleen to betrayer within an inhaled breath. No one saw me anymore, just the cheater and the liar.
So this is written I guess to show myself that I'm not any of those things, but more I think to show to others that sometimes it's not so cut and dried when it comes down to betraying the one who means everything to you. And also because through time, part of me is actually beginning to believe it. This isn't about my life or even in fact my dream.... No, what this is is the truth, but I can honestly say if the truth be told I didn't think at all and that was the problem. I did things to try and protect and sort through things before they got out of control. When I realized it was too late, the damage was done. To say I wasn't thinking at the time makes it sound like I am making excuses, but believe me I'm not... Well all I can say is listen to this tale of woe and learn from it, because given a second chance I would rather have taken my own life than do what I did.... But life isn't about second chances when you break someone's heart and find out you have killed your own in the process. Life at that point just plain sucks...
I had known since my late teens that I was attracted to the fairer sex, it wasn't some bolt of lightning that struck me into the discovery, I just believe it was the age I could understand it. I was in gym class and I noticed that the teacher really had attractive breasts, then my thoughts went onto the question of I wanted to know what it would be like to kiss them and touch them, I just shrugged and said.......
'' I'm gay..''
That was the end of my epiphany.
But I was always shy, to the point it was actually painful to be my friend. I rarely talked other than to agree to something, I never went out because my parents were strict Catholics and their rulebook was longer than the bible. School dances were out and were seen as the spawn of the devil, boys were not to be trusted and girls, well girls were just troublemakers. I think it was worse because I was an only child and my mother had had three miscarriages that would have been boys. It wasn't that they hated me, if anything it was worse they loved me with everything and put every hope and dream of themselves into my life. So to get away I threw myself into my books, they were my way of escaping the confines of my life and seeing the world. Thousands of travel books I had; I would voyage the world in my tiny cell each night in my dreams.
When I reached the age to go to university, again it was my parent's choice; I went where my mother had gone, and because of no friends my grades were amazing. When I left I had the best grades in our small town and a world beckoning me. I had more options than most to move into the work market and to me I just wanted to see the world, so that is what I did, I chose journalism, photography... I was in heaven the first time I stepped off a plane in Egypt to research and report the effects of carbon monoxide on the pyramids. My parents thought it was a waste and hated the idea but by that time I was my own person.
At the age of twenty-one I still hadn't been kissed in a passionate way and was still a virgin. I kept my sexuality to myself and I didn't want any more from life.
At twenty-seven I was still as the above, except for kissing a German girl called Hannah which confirmed my epiphany all those years ago, that I was indeed gay when she gave me a kiss that curled my toes, but I wasn't ready to do more. I had old fashioned values, I wanted to give that gift to someone I loved and who loved me....
By thirty I had heavy petted with a girlfriend who eventually couldn't take the no further clause in my contract of life and moved on.
I became well known in the News circles, soon I was being headed hunted by various News groups but I preferred freelance. It was easier, it meant I could do a story, take the photographs then sell them on at my price, and the plus was I could stay in the country I wanted for however long I wanted, rather than being told to get my arse somewhere else. I wasn't happy, I wasn't sad, I was just me. I didn't miss love because I never knew about it, what it felt like to need someone, or to want them, the only love I had known was my parents and that was controlling. I believe that love shouldn't be that, it should a free spirit that just makes you glide along in the aura of your partner, rather than being chained to it. I was lonely sometimes, a week in the desert shooting oasis points in a rally car race can be pretty boring to some, but to me the stars were my friends. The loneliness would claim me when I returned home, there would be no-one to tell the wonders I had seen.
By thirty-seven I was still a virgin, my sexual experiences aren't really worth mentioning because they only came down to petting and kissing. My body didn't know there was more to be had other than a quick self-masturbation for ten minutes and then to get up and go do the laundry.
When I met Carrie that all changed....
At the ripe old age of thirty-eight I was struck by cupid's bow, well actually it was a thick book from a shelf that whacked me for six in the New York library. When I eventually could see beyond the fuzzy vision and the stars, two blue alarmed eyes were staring down at me in panic. I can remember seeing her lips move and I can even remember reaching up to feel the nice new bump my forehead was wearing. But for the life of me I have no idea what I said or what she was saying. I just stared. Which of course panicked her more and sent her into a fit of showing off her first aid skills, feeling my body and various other techniques to check for injuries. It really didn't help my increasing heartrate or the fact I was still staring at her eyes. Eyes that were so blue that an internal poet I didn't know existed started spouting off verse and comparisons.
Thy eyes so blue of ocean depths.
From mermaid's tears that silently wept.
A siren's call upon my heart.
I'm lost in thy azure....
Well something like that anyway, it was a long time ago seems a lifetime ago to me now, but five years in the hourglass of life. I remember the book though, The Seven Wonders of the Modern World. All I could think of as I lay there gazing silently up at her was I had discovered number Eight.
From that destiny meeting we became friends, we would meet for coffee and lunch and dinner. Soon it was up in the morning, get in the car, go see Carrie. I turned down shoot after shoot to be near her and I slowly began to realize through the first six months of our friendship that I wanted more, and more importantly I also for the first time needed more. She had been honest from the start with me, shared her history of life and the fact she was gay. I told her my life story and our friendship and trust built. We took our own time getting to know each other, until long before we made the choice to move forward to more, the local grapevine had already ruled us as a couple. I can honestly say even now I have never felt anything so wonderful or amazing as the first night with her. Her tenderness and heart guided my body to a place that made me cry as I lay in her arms, for the first time I was truly happy.
She claimed my virginity as she should have, I'm sure it was written somewhere in a book of destiny, her name next to it. I gave it willingly and freely and she laid claim to that along with my heart body and soul... Carrie and I moved in together on my thirty-ninth birthday, in a small townhouse in New York. Her work as a teacher and mine meant we could afford a house of dreams as it were, nothing big or stand-outish, but it was our home a place of love. We feathered our nest with things that meant something to us.
I eventually had to return to my freelance work which meant for weeks at a time I was out of the country, but more often than not she would try and come with me for a few days at least and we were happy. I was never lonely again, I would come home and now had someone to share my visions and memories of the wonders of this earth. Our worlds were each other. I think I should tell you something about Carrie, well a little anyway to truly understand how blessed and lucky I was.
She was beautiful, men would fall over themselves to get near her. Women, well women were either dead jealous of her as a person or just of her looks, or they wanted to jump her bones. Her brain was sexy as hell, she could work out things in a second that would make the brainiest people on this planet stop and think. Her looks alone won her hundreds of love starved teenagers at the university. But to me her beauty inside matched that of her outward appearance. She could make me howl with laughter or want to weep just by putting her point of view on something.
I never got jealous of all the admirers, because when she said she loved me and only me, every part of me believed her... She brought me out of my shell, showed me how to face the world and not hide away, she coaxed me into actually voicing an opinion and really taught me how to be just me. Carrie took away that wall I had put around myself and opened me up to the amazing world around. She would always tell me to look at myself as others see me, she knew that women and men also wanted me just as much as her and I never ever saw it. I wasn't beautiful except in her eyes, I didn't see the looks that were given to me upon entering a dinner party. I wouldn't see the men grinning in a sexual way when they talked to me. Quite frankly I was blind to my own sexual appeal and beauty. But she saw and she noticed.
My years in the field had lost the puppy fat from my 5'6' frame and turned my body into a lean tanned figure. My nondescript hair now had been bleached to a color that resembled a sunset over a field of wheat, my eyes were hazel and now sparkled because of her love. No one in my life had come to me and said they wanted me other than Carrie. I didn't see it at all, my beauty or the effect it had on others, I just didn't. Maybe if they had or I had I could have been more prepared for when others did and wanted it. I was innocent of people flirting with me, I was oblivious to women and men's sexual attraction to me. Carrie thought it was so endearing to be that innocent in life. But to me she was the only one I looked at, she was in my thoughts every second of every moment, so my radar was always fixed on her responses, her happiness.
I think that was the biggest mistake I ever made, closing out other people in that way because when I realized someone did have an attraction to me it was too late to back away and try and repair the damage.
Her name was Alice, a twenty-four year old I had worked on and off with for a year in the field, she was a damn good photography student and I had hired her on work I knew would need a second perspective on a situation. I never knew Alice had a thing for me until we were in the Sahara doing a shoot on the nomads of Kyria. We had been on our own travelling the four days to the last encampment of the nomads. We talked and talked about our work and passed the hot days in shade discussing anything and everything, then sleep in our two-person tent. By night we would travel. The day of her revelation was the day after we had gotten the best shots of my career of a ceremony of joining within the tribe. The oasis was the beauty of dreams and one that stories were made of and we took our time to wash ourselves in the water. I always bathed naked, I didn't see the point of wearing clothes into the water that once I got out were going to be covered in sand.
I had turned suddenly and I caught the look in her eyes, I was actually struck dumb, I had never seen that look in anyone's eyes other than Carrie's when she looked at me. It was a look of passion and want and it was all for me. When she noticed she quickly hid her gaze, but I saw and I had no idea of how to handle it. At first I tried to carry on as normal on our four day journey back, but I found myself distancing myself from physical contact with her, eventually the paranoia got to the point I wouldn't turn my back on her incase she was eyeing me up again.
It was her that brought it all up. She was crying, god she was crying so hard when she admitted that she had fallen in love with me and wanted me, that she had never mentioned it because she knew I was in love with Carrie. I stood there with my mouth open as everything from her heart spilt onto the ground. Her fantasies made my face blush, and believe me she was honest to the point I was inwardly cringing that she knew every detail of my body. I realized then that she had been watching me way before the moment I had caught her. I honestly didn't know what to say or do. I didn't want to lose her as a friend but there was no way I was going to cheat on Carrie. I told her this and she took it with a quivering lip and sadness in her eyes that made my stomach ache at the hurt I saw there. I thought she understood and accepted it. I was so wrong....
When I got back to Carrie I told her of the fantastic shoot but some part of me couldn't tell her about Alice. I actually felt guilty about it like I had led her on in some way and I didn't want Carrie to even begin to think that I had.
That was my second mistake.
I didn't trust in Carrie to believe in her enough to tell her, and for her to just hold me and tell me it was ok and she understood. You see I didn't trust enough in anyone that they would believe my side of something like this. My parents never did, they would always ridicule me and chastise me to the point that I would end up admitting to things I didn't do just so I could move on from it. So I never told Carrie and to me the matter was at an end, I didn't see Alice I didn't have contact with her other than through work. Life returned to normal.
Alice however had other ideas. I had thought at the beginning of her appearing around my life that it was a coincidence, that she had been in the area or had appointments with magazines I was seeing to sell my work to. But after the second month of her just turning up out of the blue, I began to realize that it wasn't. Again I was faced with a situation I didn't want to deal with, I didn't want to hurt her again but I knew that I had to put a stop to it before it got way out of hand, and worse that Carrie would get to know about it. I arranged with Alice to meet her because I wanted to talk to her about what was going on. When I met her for lunch that day I was kind and considerate about her feelings mentioning the usual things about her finding someone else that would love her and that I wasn't the one. That she was young and her heart was better off finding another heart to love. I said all the things that I would hate to hear if Carrie was breaking up with me, I said everything except...''Fuck off and leave me alone.''
That was my third mistake.
You see I simply didn't know about people who wanted someone and no matter what would get them. I'd never come across the situation where no matter what I was saying or said to Alice that she was taking my kindness in, not just telling her to fuck off, as a double signal of that in truth I wanted her. You see I don't play games but the woman Alice had known did. I had never said the actual word of no to her you see, because I knew that would hurt her and I don't like hurting people it isn't part of me. So I would go on about Carrie and my love for her and I was happy. And while Alice was sat there she was just looking at them as excuses instead of reasons. In fact she thought of it in the perspective that I was daring her to prove otherwise. After the lunch I knew I had not gotten through to her at all and still when I went home to Carrie I didn't tell her, now it was a matter I wanted to handle. I didn't want it intruding into my life with Carrie. I didn't lie about where I had been that day I simply said I was with Alice and Carrie never questioned it. She had no reason to doubt me, why should she. So I kept the secret truly believing I was doing the right thing. Alice contacted me a few days later and told me I was right that she was making a mistake that she didn't want to lose my friendship. I believed her, well part of me did, I just ignored the part that didn't.
I was scheduled to go to Africa to photograph for Oxfam the famine in Syniobo, at the last minute my choice of photographer pulled out and I was left high and dry knowing I couldn't go alone. It was Carrie who suggested Alice, I tried to make excuses but knew I was dangerously near a line when Carrie wanted to know why. So I backed down and agreed. Alice was overjoyed at being back at work with me and after a week of being together I began to feel the paranoia edging away as we returned to our normal working routine. We took the shots of the awful poverty and famine and were to return home the next day. I was missing Carrie terribly and my whole body ached for her touch. I think if my mind hadn't been so filled with Carrie I would have seen the warning signs coming from Alice the night we checked into the hotel.
The night of our return to the USA we attend a party held by the supervisor of the relief station in Nairobi. Everyone was relaxed to the point that the dinner and after dance was relaxing and enjoyable, which is another reason I think I missed all the signs with Alice. I however could not miss the sign when on the way back to our rooms she grabbed me and kissed me in the hallway. For one brief moment I responded and then my brain screamed at me. I pulled away and slapped her, I remember hearing her laugh as I slammed the door on my room. I think I was more shocked that I responded than the fact of the kiss and I still to this day don't know why I did. Maybe it was the suddenness and I'd only been kissed like that by Carrie and that was what my body recognized that feeling of touching that warmth. But as soon as my body realized it wasn't Carrie's lips I pulled away.
We flew back to the USA in silence until we reached the NYC airport, she walked away then looked back.
'' I know you want me I felt it, it's only a matter of time.....''
When I started to receive flowers and small gifts I knew I was in trouble, the situation had gone beyond what I could handle. But how could I tell Carrie this now after it had been going on for over six months, how would she believe me that there was nothing going on, that every little thing I did trying to handle Alice on my own would look like more evidence towards my guilt. I was scared not to tell her but I was petrified that if I did I would lose her. I had to find a way out of this situation.
My fourth mistake was to talk to a friend I thought I could trust, I needed an outside view on how to handle things, so I told her everything. At first she was supportive believing in me enough to understand that the situation had gotten out of control. Her advice was to come clean and tell everything to Carrie. When I left her that morning I was adamant that that was my choice, that Carrie would understand and help with the situation. With that set in my mind I went to the Oxfam office to hand in the negatives and story line for the piece in their annual update magazine. I felt lighter than I had in months.
Little did I know that my so called friend had told three other friends, and by lunch time Carrie had walked into the conversation at the cafeteria at the university where a secretary was relaying what he had heard from my so called friend but with added extras.
'' Ya wouldn't have thought that dyke would have been so stupid as to trust her, I heard they fucked in the Sahara under the damn stars.... Wouldn't be surprised if she took some damn fine photographs too.''
They were laughing so hard they didn't hear her come in.
'' I mean we know Carrie's a dyke but geesh who would have thought it of Alice....''
I was told later the look on my lover's face looked like someone had slapped her with razors when she realized the tale she had just heard was about Alice and me. She had grabbed the moron and virtually choked him within an inch of his life calling him a liar. It was only when Sharon, a fellow teacher that Carrie was friends with, told her that it came directly from me, did Carrie actually start to believe it.
She didn't come looking for me, she went looking for Alice.
I said when I introduced Alice to this tale that she was a student, in fact she was a student at my lover's university. The scene which unfolded between Alice and Carrie when they got together nearly lost Carrie her job. But Alice lied through her teeth, she told Carrie we had been lovers for over three months, she used all those meeting I had with her in her scenario of her explanation of what happened. She told Carrie of my birthmark just up inside my inner leg, oh she was very good on the evidence she presented in my trial of guilt. My Carrie actually started to believe, I can't really blame her, the evidence was stacked against me, and once that seed of doubt is brought into the mind it spreads fast, where everything that once looked innocent now becomes tainted.
I was oblivious to all this, I had made my drop at Oxfam and headed home, even stopping for roses as a surprise for her. When I entered the house I knew something was wrong, it was like the air was suddenly heavy. Carrie was sitting on the edge of the couch waiting as I walked in. I was grinning at her but when she looked up at me I knew she had been crying, and the pain I saw in her blue eyes told me at once that she knew.
'' Is it true?''
I felt the roses fall from my hands and the petals strike the floor, it looked like blood.
'' Is it?'' Her voice was so low.
'' Is what?''
I heard her anger exhale as she rose.
'' Alice?''
I knew in the way she hissed her name that she knew. I knew that my friend had told.
''Yes...'' I wanted to cry but something in my throat and chest was squeezing so tightly that nothing could get past.
Her yell startled me, she was crying, she was a mass of agony her whole body was coming at me. I stepped backwards quickly I didn't understand the anger and pain, I hadn't done anything to destroy her like this, I had kept something back yes and god I should have told her, but this? As she slapped me I realized that what she knew wasn't what I said.
'' Wait wait.....''
She pulled away from me her fists clenched.
'' Get out Kathy just get out I can't be near you how could youuuuuuuuuu.''
I tried to pull her around, but she threw me off.
'' Wait Carrie god... what have you heard? ''
She stopped and looked at me for a moment.
'' Heard? I've heard everything Kathy. Alice filled me in on your nights of passion under the damn fucking stars......... GET OUT!''
I blinked I felt the hand in my chest squeeze tighter as I realized what was tearing my beloved apart.
'' NOOOOOOOO god no, I never god I never...... she has been after me for months Carrie please believe me I tried to handle it, I thought I could I couldn't god....... Carrie..... Baby please I'd never.........''
When she turned and nailed me to the spot with those eyes I knew I had lost, she couldn't hear me, the pain she felt right then deafened her, blinded her. I knew the only way to get through was to leave and come back.
'' Carrie please you know me, you trust me please baby think ok just think...... I'll go for now but please listen to me....... Alice wanted me but I told her noI didn't know how to handle her I tried but god, I didn't know I should have told you and if you let me I will tell you everything... Please baby I love you...''
She stood there looking at me as if she wanted me dead, I don't think one part of her heard me right then, because in her blue eyes I saw her coming up with the images that Alice had provided her with. I turned with tears almost blinding me, I walked to the car and finally after feeling my heart breaking I drove away. I went to a friend's house in tears, who listened to everything and her first thing was to settle me to a point she didn't think I would do something stupid to Alice, her next was to get in the car and go to Carrie's.
I waited like someone on death row wishing her to fix things, that Carrie would see the truth once she could see outside the pain she was feeling at thinking I had betrayed her. As I waited the pain began to burn inside of me and also the anger. This was Alice, from the start I had tried everything to stop from hurting her, I felt stupid and in a way I felt betrayed that a friend would do this, would destroy everything.
I didn't remember leaving my friend's house I didn't even remember walking to Alice's apartment. I wasn't expecting her to answer the door or even let me in, she was so calm it was unbelievable. I didn't even notice that she only wore a bathrobe. All I could see was the why? I didn't see the beauty there because simply I didn't look, because if I had looked I would have seen the mask she wore to the world at being so innocent. As I looked at her I finally saw the real Alice. I didn't see the real Alice until that day, she was a woman that got what she wanted in life, she was spoilt and no woman had ever walked away from her. When I slapped her she threw back her head and just laughed at me. I had never in my life met a viper like her, compared to her I was the naive student of the world. I knew nothing of want, of just wanting something that didn't belong to you. The jealousy of seeing someone happy in life, the bitterness. As she stood there with a smug look on her face and the look of power in her eyes I realized I knew nothing of this kind of life.
When she strolled over to me and opened her bathrobe to show herself in all her glory, I actually felt scared. She pulled me to her and kissed me I pushed her off and she was on me again, her frame was larger than mine and she easily grabbed my arms. She held onto my lips with hers with a power that made me shudder, I finally managed to step back from her again but she spun me around as I headed for the door. I felt the sofa on the backs of my knees and knew I was in trouble her body weight was pushing me down. I screamed noooooo at her and she just laughed again latching on to my lips, I felt her hands pin my arms to the side and then her thigh as she pushed my legs apart and her thigh connect roughly with my center to the point I cried out in pain. I struggled and I managed to use my weight to push her off balance for a moment so that we rolled to the floor. I was terrified this woman was going to rape me.
Then I heard the stifled cry at the door, I didn't even realize it was open. Alice stopped her assault and she turned her head and then she threw her head back and laughed, I managed to lift my head up and look past her and I felt my heart stop.
Carrie was stood at the door her mouth open, her hand resting on the frame as if it was the only thing keeping her up.
'' No....'' was the only word that came from her as she turned sobbing.
I used my legs to push Alice off who was still laughing her head off.
'' Carrrrrrrrrieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...........'' I screamed as I watched her turn and run.
My friend who I had gone to stood at the door, her face flushing with anger.
'' I actually believed you.... you fucking bitch, I made her come here to find out the truth, well I guess she did.....''
Then she turned and with a look of disgust at both of us she left.
As I stood Alice grabbed my arm. '' Well honey I couldn't have arranged that better..''
For the first time in my life I felt the need to hit someone, my fist clenched and I did, right smack on her face, feeling the pain scream up my arm and Alice fell back, out cold. I got up and I ran, down the stairs out into the parking lot. I saw Carrie's car turn a corner and I ran faster and faster until the point I was nearly at her, I was screaming her to wait, that it wasn't what she thought, then finally my legs gave out and I watched as her tail lights got smaller and smaller. While all I could do was fall to my knees and smack the asphalt until my palms bled screaming at the injustice.
Later I found the strength to move I went to the house but she wasn't there, I went to my friend's house and she refused to believe anything I said anymore. In the end I checked into a motel and I tried calling Carrie for the next twenty-four hours. When I went to the house the next day her things had gone, they had been cleared out in the night. I went to the university and was virtually thrown off the premises and told that Carrie had taken two weeks off. I looked everywhere for her during that time. I found out she had gone away and I couldn't find out from anyone where. Through the next month I was in hell, she had resigned from the university, which they refused and put her onto unpaid leave. My friends wouldn't talk to me except to show me their distaste.
Alice however tried to contact me everyday until the point I had to get away so I did, I went out of the city. I wrote letters to Carrie explaining everything, begging and pleading to believe in my love for her, that I was sorry I hadn't told her the truth about what had happened with Alice and that I shouldn't have kept anything from her. But Alice was just as resilient in her story, she had the campus believing I had seduced her and the black eye she wore was my anger at finding out she had told Carrie of our affair, everyone hated me. Not one friend would listen to the truth.
I found out through the university that Carrie was alive and back with friends and that helped me a little, it gave me hope to keep trying. I wrote letter after letter, sending them to the university knowing they would forward them. I heard nothing for three months then one morning I received a letter....
Kathleen
Don't keep trying to talk to me you have nothing I want to hear, your actions have shown me the truth. Leave me alone please.
Carrie.
When I read it I felt my heart truly break...
That was six months ago, when I received the letter I ran away I took any assignment that was available. For the next six months I traveled the world again, throwing myself into work, going back to something I knew my body could do on automatic pilot. That is where I am now, if I look out of my window I can see the tips of the pyramids against the skyline. Feel the haze of heat in the wind through my window and I found myself thinking back to everything and how I should have done things. The beauty around means nothing to me now I am so empty inside.
So this is my story this is the truth. I know at the start you believed I was the betrayer, the one who cheated. But I made a mistake that turned into a downward spiral of events. My only crime was to believe and look at others in the same light, that we are all the same. But it isn't true some people have an evil side that seems to seep into the reality of their lives. Some are simply game players like Alice. She wanted me and to get me she would destroy me. I didn't see it. My mistakes are those I have told you about and maybe Carrie should have seen the truth, but can you blame her? I can't.
Because when it comes down to it I did betray her, not with my body but with my heart, it didn't trust her enough with the truth, I kept silent and let my insecurities rule me. Now I will never know because I took away her choice. So be warned, you don't get a second chance in life when it comes to trust. No matter what people say, once that is gone there is no going back. The ending will be signed in your destiny if you take that path.........
An ending of being alone.
Ladyhawke124@hotmail.com Just incase you feel the need to feed the bard...J
Copyright K.Savage '' Choices.'' By Ladyhawke